Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

What's in the best interest of my two year old??

1. My dd and I live in NY. Her dad lives 10 miles away. He is very involved in her life...we see him a couple of times per week and they get along great.

2. My family lives in California. There are TONS of us there. I feel like I need the support of my family. I have no family or friends here in NY (other than dd's dad). His side of the family is making a half-assed effort to be involved in dd's life.

3. I want to move back to California so my dd can have the love and support of my family. So she can have her little cousins to play with and to bond with. So she can see what it's like to have lots of family members around.

4. Her dad says it's ok with him if I move (he knows I'm unhappy here). He says that he and dd can chat via telephone and webcam, letters, etc. He could visit us once per year and we could visit him once per year.

Do you think this would be a good thing to do? No bashing please.



Asked by Anonymous at 11:00 PM on Oct. 2, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • If you have no friends or family in NY, I can understand why you feel the way you do. Since your daughter's father is the only one there for you, you do need friends and family that definitely will be there for you. Emotionally, I do believe you need your family and it sounds like they are a really close bunch. It's not like you're moving somewhere that you don't know anybody. That's a good think. Remember that you daughter's father says that it's okay for you to move, there is nothing holding you back.It sounds like you would be happier in California. I say go for it!

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:18 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I am not really sure how to answer that. I think it's a choice that only you can make. As much as I would love to tell you to go, it's a shame that she has to be away from her father.

    Answer by m-avi at 11:03 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • That is a tough one. Having the support and help from family is HUGE but then again you are talking about moving across the country away from your daughters dad and that will be really hard for her. If you pray, I would say pray for guidence. Maybe go for a visit and see if you can find a place to live & work and how your daughter feels about being a trial run? Good luck..... : )

    Answer by brogelle at 11:11 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • Tough one, She is only 2. With contact only twice a yr she will have diffculty remembering him. You would have to spend a great deal of time daily talking about Daddy and showing picture. Lots and lots of phone contact. It can be done but it would be really rough on her. Having a big family is great..but nobody replaces Dad..

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 11:38 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • I say that you have to do what is not only right for your daughter but also what is right for you. If you are unhappy how can you expect to do the best for your daughter? Many moms forget that in order to take care of their children to the best of their ability, they must also take good care of themselves, too. If you are unhappy, it will show and your daughter will pick up on that. Kids are a lit more observant than we as parents and adults like to give them credit for. Just think about it long and hard, maybe make a trial run like brogelle suggested, and listen to your heart and see what it tells you. I wish you all the best, momma!

    Answer by QueenMomma2023 at 11:40 PM on Oct. 2, 2010