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Alone & Married.....

Is it better to be alone and married or alone and single? Right now the kids are my life and my husband is not present at all. What happens when my kids are grown up and gone? I will be completely alone and have wasted all this time? Or is it better to stay together for the kids and let them see a "family" that doesn't act like one?

 
brogelle

Asked by brogelle at 11:05 PM on Oct. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (42 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Dear, you can't stay with someone for the sake of the children. There are loads of single mothers who are thriving and who have discovered themselves and showing their children a strong and positive individual. Right now you are not alone...you are lonely because he is not there. That is worse than being alone. At least by yourself you can discover a more positive side of who you want to be and who you can be. And who says you will remain alone? Do something for YOU. Do what is best for YOU. Also if you have girls think of what you are teaching them. For them to be strong you have to show them how to be strong.
    Cheveyo1

    Answer by Cheveyo1 at 10:19 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • No, it's not better to pretend that you have something you don't. I agree with you.. in fact, I am in the same boat as you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:06 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • Do your kids notice that he is not there? If so, why stay together for them, it isn't fair for either of you. If it was me, I'd rather be alone and single. Being married to someone that is hardly ever there for you isn't getting you anywhere, after all, you are still alone.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:12 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I went through the same thing my oldest son told me he is glad i left his dad because he notices that we are so much happier now. somtimes staying in a bad marriage is not the best thing for the kids.
    picosa

    Answer by picosa at 11:12 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • I thought this was me, but the military duties actually made me a single-married parent... Good luck
    tortkey

    Answer by tortkey at 11:17 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • Ok you totally know it is NOT ok to stay in a relationship for the kids or appearances. Carpe diem girl.
    Keep him-
    I often think of when my hubs and I met, I think about every little detail of it and when I see him our relationship still feels fresh and new, I tell him that I want to take time to make out no sex... ( MY FAV ) I also ask him to sit and day dream about our lives together when our children can take care of them selves. If you try this and nothing...
    Loose him-
    BUT FOR YOU not your kids!!! ok...
    Love
    orion52

    Answer by orion52 at 11:28 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • I think if you are spending these years raising children it can never be considered a waste. You don't say what you really want. Do you want to be single? If not, can you get a hobby or job that will fill some of the empty spots? People stay married for alot of reasons. Are you truly only staying for the children? If so, it's probably better not to stay. Have you talked to your husband? Does he care if you stay married? If he doesn't you probably have your answer.
    CorrinaWithrow

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 11:28 PM on Oct. 2, 2010

  • Thank you all!!

    Cheveyo1......Yes I have a daughter and that is exactly one of the things I am worried about. I am in a scense telliing her it is okay to be with someone who does not treat you well and that is SO not what I want for her. I also have a son and I definately don't want him to grow up and treat women that way!! Thank you for this post.....it is exactly what I had been thinking but needed to hear from someone other than family and friends!! : )
    brogelle

    Comment by brogelle (original poster) at 1:51 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

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