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i have a 3 year old and a 3 week old. after giving birth to the new baby, i don't feel as close to my toddler. is this normal?

i absolutely love him. he just seemed alot bigger after the birth of the new baby. i feel slightly detatched from him. any ideas on how to restore the bond? i already feel guilty, so please no mean remarks or judgements.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:21 PM on Oct. 23, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (7)
  • Same here, i have a 2 yr old daughter and a 3month old daughter and i also feel like im not as close anymore,i just try my best to include her with everything that i do with my newborn,having her help me,getting a diaper for me,gettin her bottle and she gets so excited that i want her to help me! And when im not holding my newborn, i make sure im with my older daughter,playin with her or watchin cartoons with her or jus cuddling with her!!!!

    Answer by MariahsMama09 at 11:25 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • i dont judge people the only thing i can say is try to spend alittle more time with him like when the baby is asleep during the day read a book or just play a game it will come back just give it patienece and feeling guilty is just part of parenthood lol i always feel guilty good luck i hope this helps and congrats

    Answer by wendy232425 at 11:28 PM on Oct. 23, 2008

  • When you can return to some sort of normal sleep patterns, everything else will normalize, too. It's just that he, all of a sudden, went from being your "baby" to being your "big boy" and you need a little time to adjust.

    Answer by christyg at 12:37 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • I had my son 5 days before my daughter turned 3. Before he was born she was the biggest mommy's girl. After my son way born she became an all around daddy's girl. I wasnt able to spend the same time with her, and lost that serious closeness we once had. She is now four and a half, and still miss having my little princess. She is back to being a mommys girl. But its just not the same. She has changed so much and I feel like I have missed it all over the last year and half. Now that my son is older I spend equal time with them each. I still cant manage to regain that bond once lost. I think its normal, but it still sucks. Best of luck to you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • Same thing happened to me. My oldest daughter was 2 when I had my little girl. And its still not the same as it was before. And she is almost 5. We are close and all, but she is a papa's girl (we are extremely close to my dad). I know its just b/c she got a new role in the family, big sister, and I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't ready to let go of her being my baby. I wanted both of them to be my little babies lol

    Answer by Amanda52007 at 10:31 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • OH I cried and cried on the way to the hospital because I was "loosing" my baby! HA, funny now, but I wasn't ready to have a big boy either!! My son is 4 and my baby is 2months, and both are awesome and (eventually) best buddies. My ODS is such a great little mother to my new baby, or as he would say, "our" baby! Help her take responsibility for the baby, give her a job. ODS is my supervisor. He manages to see that everything the YDS needs is taken care of like diapers and wipes, and a spit cloth...he has a job, so he feels special to. By seeing how much of a big help she can be, will help you see that nothing is lost.

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 4:36 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • You will get that closeness back again. Right now your baby has full time needs & it's really hard to find that quality time right now for anyone, including yourself! Do little special things for your older child like when you go to the store pick him up a little something every "once in awhile". Get him on the floor for a quick tickle & thank him for being your big helper. Encourage him to do small things like grab you a diaper or the baby's bottle. You will start building a new relationship with your son.


    Answer by onespecialmom at 11:42 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

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