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4 Bumps

Is premarital sex an individual choice or is it not a choice because people think it is the normal and that it is weird or strange not to participate and have premarital sex? Our media show it to be what "everyone does". Teens think it is expected and if they do not something is wrong with them.

How can we protect our young from this?
How have we let our youth down and what can we do to undo this?
Is it too late?


Asked by tootoobusy at 5:21 AM on Oct. 3, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 52 (487,465 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (30)
  • Beyond the Birds and the Bees by Gregory Popcak This book talks about forming your childs character, and age appropriate discussions about sexual issues w/ kids.


    Answer by flatlanderjenn at 4:53 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • As much as media effects our lives (especially kids) I think it is up to the parents to show their children what is right for them. Whether that be waiting til marriage, or waiting until they are ready. I don't feel like premarital sex is wrong..but I do think parents should teach their children that sex at age 12 isn't okay, and that they need to wait until they are mentally, physically, and emotionally ready. I also think that schools should be doing a better job of telling it like it really is. Abstinence programs don't will have sex. I am more worried about them not knowing about contraception, healthy sex, and ALSO their choices on abstinence and waiting.

    Answer by dbodani at 5:42 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • It is a choice. Adolescents do not need protected from it. Not everyone views premarital sex as bad. Once again, trying to push a religious agenda as standard for all.

    Also, a side note, Europe is FAR more sexualized than the USA yet have lower teen pregnancy rates.

    Answer by purpleducky at 7:57 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • how is it not a personal choice (outside of rape)?

    Answer by Zoeyis at 7:02 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • The best way to fix this is simple really. Parents have to start parenting! Shocking huh? We are so wrapped up in being busy that we are forgetting to have the most important talks with our kids. These talks arent about getting A's, being on a winning team and looking the best. They are about dignity, respect, loyalty, tolerance, willpower, inner strength. And all of those words should have the word SELF in front of them for more communication. We need to talk to our kids on a personal level. Not lecture, talk... discuss. Investigate and learn together about the implications of teen sex, teen parenting, AIDS and other STDs. Talk openly about birth control, condoms and CHOOSING TO WAIT. Don't wait for the school to do it, or their peers... its not to late, talk to them as soon as possible. Don't put it off because your choice to not talk to them because its uncomfortable or you are too busy could lead to disaster.

    Answer by 1lv2stks3nlz4ev at 6:46 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Teens think its like they have to have sex to be cool and fit in , in todays standards which I believe isnt right. My first time was when I was almost 17 and I was still in high school. I wish I would have waited till I got married. It would have made it purer.
    Andrea S.

    Answer by Andrea S. at 6:53 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • It is a choice and we protect our children by taking them to their activities and staying with them while they are there. We protect them by allowing them to entertain their friends in our homes where we can supervise and guide. We stop giving them too much freedom too soon and we parents assume the responsibility for keeping them pure. My husband and I parented in this manner and it worked very well. If I could do it again, I would do it the same way/

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:53 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • it is definitely an individual - and yes, our media is absolutely wrong in making our teens think it is an accepted way of life - however, please don't blame the media for letting our teens down - blame their parents - the parents should be teaching their children as soon as they can comprehend good touches, bad touches, who has the right to touch your body, how to say no, and to tell the parent everything, not to get into cars, take candy from strangers, start talking about sex at least by kindergarten or when child is riding a bus, tell them about pedophiles, can be part of family or strangers - responsibility of having premarital sex, your body is ready for it, but emotionally, you are not ready for it as a teen, you have college ahead of you, etc. - be responsible about having sex if this is what you choose, your religion might have a play in this, also - don't give it up to just anybody - wait for it to be special ....

    Answer by kaysimon132461 at 7:55 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • It is a choice of course, sex is part of growing up and life's experience, we should teach our kids that it shouldn't be taken lightly, but we shouldn't engrave in them that it is bad either, just that there is a time and a place for everything.

    Answer by older at 7:58 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Sex is not bad. I never want in engrave in my child that it is however I do want to engrave in them that sex before marriage is bad. They will understand sex is meant for a husband and wide at age 8 if not sooner. I will teach them God created sex to be between a man and his wife. It is God's wedding present to the couple. I will teach them is is a choice but that it comes with many risk and it is a choice that can never be taken back. Once you have sex you can't ever take that back. If they choose to do so they will be taught how to protect themselves but I would always discourage it with out being angry about it. I want them to feel comfortable talking to me because I need to know what they are up to so I can help them be protected. Moral's aside there are other aspects of sex they need to be taught.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 8:22 AM on Oct. 3, 2010