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3 Bumps

How do you tell a friend that she is moving way too fast with a man she barely knows?

A dear friend of mine has recently met a man and began a relationship with him in less then two weeks. Everyone notices a dramatic change in her and it isn't really that good. I don't want to sound like I am jealous or anything and am afraid that she may look at it that way. I am just concerned and don't want to see her get hurt. Any advice?

 
Cheveyo1

Asked by Cheveyo1 at 9:30 AM on Oct. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (4,846 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Just tell her straight up. There is probably no way you can cushion what you need to tell her so that she will really like hearing it. So just be as gentle as you can be and tell her of your concerns. Then leave it there. You will at least know that you tried to warn her, but try not to be disappointed if she pays no attention to your warning. Most of the time, people have to learn the hard way!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:38 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • i would think she has to learn the hard way and get her heart broken, she most likely wont listen to you because she is on her high horse and in dream world. you could say something if she looks to you for advice....
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 9:52 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I think we need more information here....what KINDof "drastic" changes? Is it just that you feel left out,that she is choosing to be with him instead of you and her friends? If I had a guy who I really liked, do you think I would want to hang out with girlfriends as usual? Hell...NO!
    If the changes are bad ones,then maybe, as a friend, you should talk with her. But I am always in favor of "minding your own business".
    gertie41

    Answer by gertie41 at 10:20 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • The quickest way to lose a guy is to be too easy to fast.....I would just bring that up in a girl talk conversation.

    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 2:30 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I would gently tell her your concerned for her.Tell her she should slow down and look at things.Cause you don't want her to get hurt or end up in a bad situation.Let her know you care for her and be there for her.All you can do is talk to her.
    alisha34886

    Answer by alisha34886 at 9:33 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • How long have they been seeing each other? What are the changes? Unless it's something serious, I would let her make her own decisions. If she's head over heels, all you will succeed in doing is push her away.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 9:51 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Talk it over with her and tell her you are concerned for her. Remind her about birth control. Good luck.................you are a good friend.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 9:57 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Well, what do you mean she's changed & it isn't really in a good way. Is it because she's not calling her friends & canceling plans she's made with them, or is she doing drugs & hanging out with a bad crowd. Is she spending her time with you texting him & talking on her phone? Or is she depressed or edgy?

    People do fall in love quickly sometimes & believe me, when I met my husband it was instant. We just knew. A lot of people warned me that he wasn't right for me & they didn't like that I was suddenly doing things I'd never done before. A LOT of people warned me that we were moving too fast.

    Guess what, we've been happily married for 22 years.....most of the people who warned me about him have divorced once or even twice since then. Would I want my kids to move as fast as we did ...no, but I would stay out of it, unless my fears were for very serious reasons.....

    You don't say here your concerns, so I'll just say good luck!
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:59 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I'd be up front and honest with her. If she values your friendship and what you have to say, then she'll think about it and make her own decisions.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 2:38 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Tell her not to forget the way back home.
    peacockmom

    Answer by peacockmom at 5:51 PM on Oct. 3, 2010