Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

WHY do parents baby their children?

I HATE seeing parents who say, "I have to sleep in the bed with them or else they cry all night" or "I have to make a different dinner for them because they won't eat what I fixed", etc.

Why do parents not realize that if they put their foot down and establish themselves as the dominant person in the household their children will listen to them and follow their rules?


Do they not realize that they are creating a downward spiral for the rest of their childrens lives? That they are helping to develop that "the world does it this way because that's what I WANT and I get everything I want" or "the world should be handed to me on a silver platter" type of attitude? That those are going to be the brats screaming their heads off in the store in a few years?

WHY do parents baby their kids and not teach any independance and obediance/discipline?

(Yes I went anon bc people are such whiners they'll bash me forever.)

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:50 AM on Oct. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I agree with you 1000%!! I am so sick of parents trying to be their kids' friend rather than PARENTING THEM!! If you want a friend - go find a friend! Don't have a kid to gain a friend!! Parents need to be parents or STFU when their kids walk all over them because they haven't established their authoritative role!
    Babylove76

    Answer by Babylove76 at 9:57 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I adore my kids and will do anything for them, including telling them no when it is appropriate and letting them know that there is someone in charge, who is not them. I pay the cost to be the boss, If they do not want what I made for dinner, they don't eat. Missing a meal will not hurt them and 90% of the time they change their mind and come and eat. My kids have never slept with me in our bed, because it is our bed. They have their own beds and rooms for that reason.

    I don't judge other mothers, b/c I think you do what works for you.. but I was raised and I completely agree I have friends, my kids should have friends, but not with me, not until they are adults.
    Bubbie0809

    Answer by Bubbie0809 at 10:06 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I babied both of my kids m 20 ear old when he had continuous ear infections that lead to his ears being tubed twice my 17 year old when he had cancer and when chemo would not go well five years of that. I held their hands and knew when to let them go and believe you me they knew when they were on the hot seat and do say yes ma,am and no sir they are chivalrous and they are well behaved taking responsibility for their own actions.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:09 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • YES!!! Finally, a Mom who realizes that parents have to be in charge! YAY!!! THANK YOU for being brave enough to speak about this issue!
    Lately, Moms have been the slaves and the kids are their masters. Kids are in charge,....from the day they come home from the hospital (or from Mommy and Daddy's bathtub...LOL)...and as they grow up, it doesn't get any better. These are the kids who think they can do anything and never hear the word "NO". WOw...its just pitiful. Co-sleeping, breast feeding until the kid can ask for it (Any kid who is old enough to walk up to Mom and ask for her boob is way too old to be at the breast!)and kids who 'always win' and are never given the opportunity to be disappointed by losing to another kid, etc. I could go on but you can see how I feel! You go ANON!
    gertie41

    Answer by gertie41 at 10:28 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Quenn, that's funny my DD doesn't bug me like that either and I can take her anywhere. If she doesn't like what I made I will not force her to eat it. Would you eat something you didn't like? If you did not want to finish your food and were hungry later would you want a SMALL galls of water? NO Come on now these are not robots or soldiers they are children, humans who have as much right to say I do not like this and will not eat it as you do.
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 11:13 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • i think you are speculating I DO BABY ALL MY KIDS but my children are well behaved they do as i say when i get tough they know but at the same time i help them in the bath, i sleep with them, feed them if they want, cook what they want to eat cuz it is really not gonna kill me....and do just about everything...i CHOSE to be a mother i WANTED to be a mother THEY NEVER asked me to lay down and have them...my kids are my all and if they need me want me or whatever i will be there always...and like i said IT'S NOT TRUE THAT KIDS THAT GET IT ALL TURN OUT TO BE ASS HOLES LIKE YOU SO THINK...
    iNk-FrEaK

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 9:57 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Sorry but I sleep in bed with my DD so she doesn't cry all night and ask her what she wants to eat. My mom did the same thing with me and I listened when I was told no probably more so because of that. I knew when my mom got stern she meant business because more often then not she was babying me. My DD listens to me like any 2 year old. Barely but it is NOT because I make sure she is comfortable and feels safe at night or that I make sure she likes what she is eating, or asking her what she wants to do for a day because it is her day too. She is a person and her feelings matter JUST as much as mine! I am in charge but I would not ever tell her to do something she REALLY did not want to do unless it was important and then she listens!
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 10:34 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I tend to baby my children when they are sick or hurt. Otherwise, it's my way or no way. They eat what I make for dinner, although I will occasionally make concessions (my son doesn't like spicy things, so before I put any spicy spices in what I'm cooking I'll pull some out for him). But what I make is what I make and you will eat it or do without. And if you don't eat it all and you say you are hungry later, well, you should have eaten all of your dinner, so you can have a SMALL glass of water or milk and deal with it. My children know what NO means, and they know that if I say no it doesn't mean to start whining or to throw a fit or to keep asking because the answer is not going to change and they just look like goobers who are whining and crying for pretty much no reason. They do what they are told. They behave in public. I have never thought twice about taking my kids with DH and I anywhere. Ever. WTG Anon!
    QueenMomma2023

    Answer by QueenMomma2023 at 10:52 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I think there is a difference between babying and being loving. To me, making a second dinner is just ridiculous. But I see nothing wrong with my son coming in to my bed when he can't sleep or has a bad dream. I don't want my children to see me as dominant, I want them to see me as their mother. I don't want my children to fear me, I want them to love me. There is a difference. Independence and Discipline are huge in this household, but so is Love and Understanding. I don't see why you have to give up one for the other. We have yet to have any kind of disciplinary issues... My children have, and do, more chores than the other children I know (even the older ones) and have the freedom to be independent and explore life on their own... None of that has ever required me to "establish myself as dominant" it's simply taken a willingness to love and work with my children rather than against them.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 12:04 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Because it's so much easier to be a friend than a parent. :) I agree with you.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 9:57 AM on Oct. 3, 2010