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3 Bumps

How do you gently get someone out of your life?

Been dealing with this guy for over a year long distance. He is in the military. I care for him but he is very negative and unmotivated. When I fell for him I saw him as strong, confident and we talked about everything. About six or so months ago I noticed that he is not as he made out to be. He is moody, tries to be controlling, dependent, unmotivated and everything he talks about is negative. He never has any positive thoughts or show any interest in anything. Like I said I do care for him but I don't think I like him very much. How do get him out of my life without hurting him?


Asked by Cheveyo1 at 10:48 AM on Oct. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (4,846 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I must disagree with the two posts above...sorry...

    Usually guys are the ones who stop calling, do not answer calls, and try to be yerks instead of speaking the truth.
    You are waiting your time with this guy.
    Simply explain to him that you need someone positive in your life that supports your goals and are on the same page as you.
    Honesty sometimes hurts but is also an eye opener for the other party.
    You never know, maybe he gets a wake up call and changes for good, or simply he walks away...He may be doing this to push you out of his life....(right)?
    Life is too short to put up with people who are negative. If you are not married to him not have kids in common, simply walk away from the relationship and be honest.
    Hope this helps!

    Answer by Ahealthyskin at 11:05 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • The post above (third post) seems to make the most sense to me. I'd follow what she's advised and go from there.

    Answer by _Tam_ at 2:20 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • STO answering his calls, texts, emails,letters

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 10:56 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • you have to first take out what connects you and him together, do you have any friends together?...slowly stop talking to them. Do you have him as a friend on Facebook, yahoo, myspace, ect.?...dont be on your account very often, dont respond to his emails but maybe respond to one every two weeks, but then one every month and so on. Dont answer all his questions, make it look like you dont want him to know all your business. Does he text you? make excuses why you couldnt get back to him.

    its all about slowly letting them go so in the meantime he might find someone else that will give him more attention

    Answer by americansugar80 at 10:57 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • An unexpected good-bye usually goes hand-in-hand with hurt and disappointment unless they were planning to tell you the same thing.

    Answer by peacockmom at 5:50 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Thank you ladies I am taking all your answers into consideration. The thing is this I have removed him from my IM but he still writes, he even requested me to be added to his list when I did not reply to his emails. He says he won't give up, that he will love me 'till he dies. How am I suppose to handle something like that? He is very negative and selfish but what mostly turned me was his inconsideration for my faith and my time. It's like he tries to use my faith to gain my commitment when it suits him and downs and disrespect it when he catches his little Bit** fits. Ahealthyskin I agree with you about cutting ties and I am trying. The only thing we share is that I was there for him when he lost his son a few months back and I think I may have a small degree of guilt for that. if I walk out.

    Comment by Cheveyo1 (original poster) at 1:07 AM on Oct. 4, 2010