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how to deal with 2.5 year old that disiplining her doesn't work.

I do believe in spankings (for those that do or don't). When she does something I usually give one warning and tell her no or don't do that or get out of that or whatever. Then if she does it again I usually spank her butt or sit her in timeout depending on what it is for. Well lately she has a new thing with taking the cushions off the couch and jumping on the couch and now she is jumping on the coffee table. I was spanking her butt with my hand, but lately I been using a wooden spoon. Timeouts don't even work it is like talking to a wall with her or she willsometimes not even look at you when she is doing something or look at you after you say no and does it anyway. She bits herself (use to be other now herself). She has a thing to with someone she doesn't even know she smacks them and gets in there face and grawls or she kicks them and laughs CONT...


Asked by mommy5409 at 10:55 AM on Oct. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 25 (22,258 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (51)
  • delilahsmom,,,,,,,,,I'm sure you do alot worse to you own kid. Your child is not in a very healthy envirionment either, with her dad in prison and you living with his ex. That's insane! God only knows what you have done to you child because you seem like a very bitter person.

    Answer by staceynoel at 8:01 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • She is 2 and pushing her boundaries. You need to pick a form of punishment and be very consistent. I don't believe in spankings in general, but believe that using a wooden spoon is just wrong. Think about it. You are saying don't hit, but what do you do when she hits? you hit her. That is sending her a message that her young brain cannot process.

    I know I am unlikely to change your mind on the spankings, and it's your child. I personally would cut out all the spankings and be very consistent with time outs and give it time. She is still very young and ruled by her impulses. She also cannot verbally express what is going on in her mind like we can so she hits and kicks. My oldest spend a huge amount in time out as a very young child, mostly due to speech delays and impulses. He is an amazing thoughtful 12 yr old now because I taught him the rules and he eventually got them.

    Answer by balagan_imma at 11:03 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • You didn't ask for my advice, but she asked for yours and all you offered was hurtful criticism. I didn't say she was right, but I offered some advice. I find that offering caring advice works better than just being plain mean. Maybe, just maybe if you offer caring advice, you can help someone. I personally find that I find helping someone more rewarding then hurting.

    Answer by layh41407 at 12:10 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • delilahsmom,,,,,,,,,I'm sure this mom is a good mom in some ways, it sound like she is looking for advice on how to care for her children, she doesn't need to be attacked and told what a horrible mom she is. Maybe she is young or maybe she had poor role models as a child, we don't know. Parents can be abusive to their children in may ways and not realize it,,,,,,,,,,,,they may use a prop to hit the child, they may tease the child frequently or call the child names and put the child down. Many don't realize the damage that they are doing. These parents are in need of posiitive parental guidance, not put downs.

    Answer by staceynoel at 1:09 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • You make the clear point about spanking NOT working or she would have learned the first time. It's NOT EFFECTIVE and it's punishment NOT DISCIPLINE. You are only teaching her that hitting is acceptable. So YOU are TEACHING her the bad behavior then asking us why is she doing it. ...because you taught her to do it. You confuse her when you hit her then get angry with her for hitting /kicking then you hit her again! If you stop the violent behavior, she'll stop. Teach her how to act, not how not to act.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Purpul
    You are being unbelievably mean and nasty. I certainly hope you raise your child to be more compassionate.
    This woman is asking for advice and instead of giving her some useful advice, you say something that NO ONE should say to a woman who is TRYING and who is asking for help.
    While you might THINK you are perfect, I can tell you without knowing you, that you are not. We are all human and we all make mistakes and we all do things that others do not agree with.
    As humans, we have the ability to choose to be compassionate toward our fellow humans. I hope in the future, you make that choice.

    Answer by layh41407 at 11:47 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Wow, you are just as bad. So sad that there are so many negative people in the world. I guess that is why this world seem to have so many issues. I wish you well.
    Try this thought. Postive thoughts, lead to postive actions. Positive actions lead to positive feelings. Positive feelings lead to Postive thoughts.
    Or, you could just try what I was taught by my mother. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
    Or this: Treat others as you wish to be treated. Even when they are treating you poorly.
    Here's to all the negative, nasty, bullies replying to this thread. < a hug>. It seems that you need it as you have the need to put others down when they are asking for help.

    Answer by layh41407 at 12:07 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I have heard that the book The Difficult Child is very good. Plus sometimes they go for the negative attention when they do not get enough positive attention. Does she get enough one on one time with you and DH? And praise when she does things right? Good luck

    Answer by elizabr at 11:02 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I don’t agree with the other post so far but it is just a difference of opinion I have friends that children do the same thing and they have to take them to therapy to get their behavior under control, sometimes things just don’t seem to work and this could be a good way to find out what the problem is. If you talk to SRS they will give you a contact number for a company that will pay for the sessions because I know in today’s times no one can afford the cost of therapy. It’s a good thought to look into because sad as it is my friends oldest started out with the hitting and screaming then went to the biting and slamming her head on the floor to cause herself pain. She is not in an institution for children because she got so violent that no one could control her actions. Hope it all works out

    Answer by MisticDawn6 at 11:10 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Work proactively rather than reactively. 

    Start the day by saying you know she is going to have a good day and listen to mommy.  The first few things that she did that you asked her do recognize it and tell her happy you are that she listened to you. 

     If she continues to throw the cushions off the sofa, take them off for the day and make her sit on the floor.  Remind her you can't put them on until she knows how to leave them on the sofa where they belong. 

    See the discipline books


    Answer by momjs at 11:10 AM on Oct. 3, 2010