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How Do I do This?

Im a single mommy right now and me and my ex are going through a divorce... and i just found out that im pregnant. its my exs... he wants me to get an abortion because he doesnt think we can take care of the one we have well enough let alone two. I would never be able to go through with it though... but i dont want any complications in the divorce... or in mine and his friendship we been working on...

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trystons_mommy

Asked by trystons_mommy at 12:13 AM on Oct. 24, 2008 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,507 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • It's not the babys fault. Even if it does cause complications in the divorce. The best to u.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:16 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • Having a second child won't complicate the divorce, and it shouldn't complicate the friendship between you two. If you're not comfy with abortion as a choice, then by all means don't do it to pacify your ex. Of course, it could be a little tougher to raise 2 instead of 1 but I can't see that being justification for an abortion if it's not what you want.
    KennsWifey

    Answer by KennsWifey at 12:17 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • This is something that only you can decide. We all go through very tough times in our life but somehow when we decide to get through them, we do & will! You have a beautiful son now & I'm sure that are going to have another beautiful child coming soon too. If you want to have a good relationship with your ex. then continue to treat him with good respect concerning the kids but be sure to do what makes you happy too. Your alone now & you have to take care of yourself as well as your children. Someday you will look back on this & see that it was just another challenge in you life that you got through with success! I feel your pain right now & thank goodness for sites like cafemom to show you that your not alone or have to go through it alone. Please feel free to contact me anytime when you need someone. I wont judge you but I will pray that you find peace.

    onespecialmom

    Answer by onespecialmom at 12:22 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • Oh, don't do it! This is your BABY!
    At least this way your child will have a sibling to share his/her life with. And, it can't really make it that much more complicated. Maybe he just doesn't want to pay the extra child support?
    christyg

    Answer by christyg at 12:22 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • I know it's not what you want to hear but do you think it's a possibility that this is the higher up's way of telling you two that your marriage is still creating beautiful things and you should keep trying?
    When I was seriously considering divorce, I prayed about it and asked that he give me some sort of a sign of what I should do and he answered my prayer with a beautiful little girl. I am so thankful now that I listened. Our marriage is stronger than ever and there's been 2 more beautiful little girls added to our hearts and home.
    If you don't want to abort..... I wouldn't, it's your body, your baby.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:31 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • it's your choice for sure but if you decide that the baby isn't what's best you could always consider adoption.. there are thousands of couples out there that unfortunately cannot have children on their own and want to have a family.. but if you do not want an abortion then don't do it, if you do then it would be a decision you regret for the rest of your life.. good luck
    Keri77

    Answer by Keri77 at 1:43 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • hey my lovely best friend.. your hubby is a butt whether im friends with him too or not.. i will support your decision no matter what you choose to do.. and tj is a hypocrite in a way.. he told me when i first got preggo that he wouldnt speak to me if i got one and i have no way to support one either.. but i know your situation with whoreface and him.. i love you!
    sunshinebaby209

    Answer by sunshinebaby209 at 2:43 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • Make the choice that is best for YOU and your child. Screw him.
    softchick21

    Answer by softchick21 at 4:49 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • A BABY IS A GIFT FROM GOD ! THIS BABY HAS A REASON FOR BEING HERE YOU WILL SEE THAT GOOD THING'S CAN COME FROM BAD THING'S !! MY MOM WENT THRU THE SAME THING AFTER 3 GIRLS AND A BAD MARRIAGE SHE LEFT HIM HAD HER TUBES TIED AFTER ME I WAS THE 3 RD GIRL LOL WELL 2 YRS LATER BEFORE THE DIVORCE WAS FINAL THEY GOT TOGETHER FOR ONE LAST NIGHT WELL SHE GOT PREGO AGAIN THOUGHT HOW YOU DID BUT HAD HER 4TH BABY AND GUESS WHAT IT WAS THE BABY BOY SHE WANTED SO THEY STAYED MARRIED A FEW MORE YEARS AND I GOT A BABY BROTHER OUT OF IT ! SO YOU NEVER CAN TELL HOW LIFE GOES !!!
    sweetchrissy

    Answer by sweetchrissy at 5:17 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • I agree that a child is a gift and has probably been given to you for a reason. But with the current situation you are in another child will make things even more difficult for you. I don't know much about your ex but do you think he is the type of guy to leave you hanging? If he is, or if he's more wrapped up in his own life and not yours and your kids, then you may have to do this without thoughts of how he will handle his end. You have to know that with or without his help you can be able to provide for this child. If you think you can then it is definitely worth the struggles you will face. But if you are already having difficulty making it with one child you have to ask yourself what the best choice is for the child you already have. It's not an easy decision. Just remember that we are capable of way more than we know. We always find a way to make things work.
    Su-Z-Q

    Answer by Su-Z-Q at 9:27 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

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