Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

I don't care for my step daughters, they are teens and yound adults, should I tell my DH or just stay quiet?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on Oct. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Wow...just wow. Those are your step children and when you married him, you were supposed to accept them as well. I don't know what to tell you.

    Answer by Leigh519121 at 11:38 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Were you unaware he had these children? He was a package deal. I suggest you learn to like them because I am sure it would not sit well with DH to find out his children's step MOTHER doesn't like them.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 11:41 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I am not sure what I would do. I know that the teenage years are hard to handle and they may not like you so they do what ever they can to make you miserable. Seems like if thats the plan it is working. In return that can cause problems in your marriage and they probably want that too. I know its hard not to say anything so if you do think about it first so you don't say something you may regret. I have trouble not saying anything and until I do I am pissed off at the wrong people. It may be best to say something but just be careful.

    Answer by momofangels5 at 11:42 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • you really should have thought about this before they were you step children, it was a package deal, if I didnt like the whole package i would have said something to him before now. Good luck with this

    Answer by lchristianson5 at 11:44 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • If you have kept quiet all this time I'd continue to do so. You are more woman than I am though. I was going to marry a guy then spent time with his kids and broke off the engagement. No way could I put up with that but I voiced my opinion before the wedding and walked away.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:44 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • It's ALWAYS the step parents job to create the relationship betweem them & their step children. It's your fault y'all don't get along. They are only going to treat you how you treat them. It's your obligation to make friends with them & find common ground. No one should marry a man with children, if they don't like his children. That is messed up.

    You coulod easily make an effort to have a relationship with these girls. Seems as if you're too selfish though...

    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:57 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I would try to get to know them better before anything else. I think it would be hard to put myself in your position and it will require some efffort both on your part and theirs since they probably have been living a certain way and we all have our own way of doing things which probably would take them some getting used to adapt to it all.

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 12:01 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • What exactly would you say to him? "I don't really like your children." I don't that would go over very well. I think that you should keep that to yourself and try to build a relationship with them. Eventually they'll be out of the house, but they'll never be out of your life. What ever you have to do to create a pleasant relationship with them is worth if for peace within your family.

    Answer by beckcorc at 12:01 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I have a step parent who does not like me and in the end its okay either you like them or you don't they are apart of him that will go over like led baloon. I would try to find things in common or create a better relationship if you love your husband.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 12:12 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I knew my husband had children long before we got married. I loved them to pieces when they were younger. And then their mom found out about me, and kept them from us, and so now that they are older (they have never known anything different than their father and I being together because they were six months and a year and a half old when he and I started dating) I really don't like them because she has made them over in her crazy psychotic image. You would have to know this woman to understand. I am sure that if we were able to spend more time with them I could grow to like them again (I still love them, I just don't like them and they are now 11 and 12). I have never said anything to my husband, and I don't plan on ever saying anything to him. It was my choice to stay with him and I knew his children were part of the deal. It was my choice and I have to learn how to deal with my feelings for them. My burden, not his.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:22 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.