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3 Bumps

Do you think it's right to dump your kid off at grand mas, everytime you go on a trip out of town?

Okay I'm gonna gossip a litle here.

My brother ( love him alot) and his wife (don't like her so much) JUST took a weekend trip to Vegas and left my nephew with my mom. Which is fine. I mean everyone needs a weekend get away. Next weekend is my brother's birthday and they want to drive to Portland for the weekend (which is only 3 hours away from where they live) and they're going to dump him off at my mom's again. I'm thinking...didn't they just have a weekend alone together? Why can't they just take him with them? It's his DAD'S birthday, I would want my kid with me on my birthday. And if I wanted to have a night out without him, I'd go out for a few hours but not leave him again for another weekend. I don't know, I just don't understand why they have to dump him off every other weekend and why they can't just spend the weekend in Portland with their kid for once. I realize traveling with a kid is hectec, but (cont

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GinNTonic

Asked by GinNTonic at 12:10 PM on Oct. 3, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 18 (6,147 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • I do it every month and I have no problem doing it with TWO.
    GinNTonic

    Comment by GinNTonic (original poster) at 12:11 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • It depends on the grandparents. Some just love it like me, while others might feel like their being "dumped" on. How does your mother feel about it?
    dgall3

    Answer by dgall3 at 12:14 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • How often do they do it? It sounds like they went to Vegas, and now want to have a romantic birthday celebration? I travel with my kids sometimes, but my DH and I really enjoy our grown up time. We are going on our second week-long vacation this year without the kids on the 8th, and we're heading out for another week in December. My mom loves having the kids with her, and DH and I get to spend some time as a married couple.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 12:14 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • My DH and I have season tickets to NLL (professional indoor lacrosse). The games always fall on weekends. My mom always takes the kids overnight as the arena is an hour and a half away from home and we often return after midnight. There are 8 home games per season over a three month time frame. Sometimes, the games fall on back to back weekends.
    My mom LOVES having her grandsons and looks forward to lacrosse season.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 12:17 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • They do it pretty often. And of course my mom loves it, but I just don't get why they can't spend a weekend out of town with their kid? It just kind of bothers me.
    GinNTonic

    Comment by GinNTonic (original poster) at 12:18 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • OP I agree with you. The last time i was away from my DD it was when i was in the hospital! My cousin however has his DD at my aunts every weekend with out fail!
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 12:43 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Depends on what your Mom thinks is it too much. I would feel really used after a while my stepdaughter does this to people all the time with the excuse that her and her new hubby need time together well when the kids are at their dad's it can be their time together I do it once in a great while to my dad but he loves it and wants her more often I just feel guilty doing it very often but he's 70 and I don't see him being with us for too many more years so I want her to know the only grandparent that she can my mom would abslutely throw at fit if I took my daughter to her house even 1 time
    Moms_Angels1960

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 12:51 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I think there are a lot of factors that go in to something like this... I would never do it, but then, I wouldn't take a trip unless my kids could come with me. But if the grandparents are okay with it, and the kids aren't causing issues, and the parents are okay with it, then why not...
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 12:56 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I'm not saying it's completely wrong to leave your kid with someone you trust so you and your hubby/so could have a date night or a anniversary weekend together, but they just went to Vegas together. Why do they need another weekend together? Plus, I had planned on letting my DD visit her next weekend (we live two hours away from eachother btw) so that hubby and I can have some time together because we are in desperate need of it. We'll still have the baby, of course, but we desperately need a dinner date or something. We don't get one as often as they do. We can't afford hired help. That's part of what this is about, but I also think they dump him on my mom way too often and it often times seems like they are taking advantage of her and just getting rid of him.
    GinNTonic

    Comment by GinNTonic (original poster) at 1:03 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • OP, to be honest, I think its a personal thing. I have friends who do that. And they think its perfectly normal. And it works for them. But me personally, I feel the way you do. I have a DD who is 16 months old. And I am a SAHM, and she is with me everywhere I go. My SO and I maybe leave her with one of her grandparents for a few hours. Never overnight. We enjoy having her with us. For example, my SO LOVES halloween. And he loves going to the theme park's halloween scare nights (knott's scary farm.. etc). I told him that I might be ok leaving DD overnight so we can go. But he said he would rather take our DD to Disneyland. He would rather do something SHE can do WITH us. But to each his own.
    Also, if your mom lets your brother leave his son constantly, she is only affirming the thought to him that it is ok to do.
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 1:13 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

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