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when can my grandbaby who is alost 4 travel to come see me??

My granddaughter is almost 4, and she has never been allowed to come to MOntana to see her daddy's side of the family. My son moved to Boston to be with the gf, and while he was quitting job, and selling his things, she became engaged, and has recently had a new baby! We live in MOntana, and she is from son lives there now to be in his daughters life. I think it is my gd's right to know her family on the west coast. Her mommy wont let her leave the state. We have traveled back there numerous times at a expense, and I think its time, she comes and sees her "other" home. Does anyone know whenI can suggest this to the courts and get the answer I want to hear? Thank you


Asked by bcnul8a at 12:13 PM on Oct. 3, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 6 (131 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • That's something your son is going to have to fight for; he'd need to get something in a parenting agreement that states he is allowed to take the child out of state. I can't imagine why the court wouldn't allow that. If there is no agreement in place, the mother is really calling all the shots here. Grandparents have specific rights in some states, but the battle is pretty expensive. Have you spoken with your son about this? I've taken my 2 yo on a plane, he had a great time.

    Answer by Scuba at 12:18 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Grandparents have no legal rights. The Supreme Court ruled on this about a decade ago. The ONLY way to get CUSTODY is if one or both parents are dead or deemed unable to care for the children. I understand your pain. My ILs live on the west coast and we live on the east coast. My oldest has seen his grandmother twice and he is 4 and my youngest has once and he is 2. It is just VERY expensive to travel cross country. I'm sorry you feel this way but that is life.

    Answer by purpleducky at 12:18 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I dont think you can force her to allow your granddaughter to leave the state. Its her kid. And I know it sucks. My father works in London for the summer ( rents a flat, at least for 5 weeks). Anyway, I want to take my DD over there, and her dad wont allow it. He doesnt want her traveling yet. And as much as I would like to, I cant without his permission, and he and I are together. But maybe she has issues with her traveling without her?

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 1:06 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • You aren't her parents - your opinion in this matter isn't relevant. It's their right to do what they believe is best for her, and you might have an opinion or desire to see her more often but you have no legal right to dictate anything about her life. Honestly, it sounds to me like there might be a reason they don't want her to be around you guys that much. You sound controlling and demanding and you are very much ovestepping your bounds.

    Answer by getrealmama at 7:22 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • You aren't the parent. Your son is. Your granddaughter DOES know her other home. She visiting her dad and that's all that matters in custody issues,mom and dad. If you want to visit her you're going to have to go there. Her mom doesn't have to let her 4 year old fly across the country. I sure wouldn't allow it.

    Answer by heatherann0221 at 9:43 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Well if your son wants to bring her 'home' then HE has to do something. You have NO rights and need to just accept that. And just because to you it seems like he has given up everything and she has given up nothing doesn't mean that is necessarily true. But I do love *note the sarcasm* your generalization that all east coast people are snobs.

    Answer by purpleducky at 12:41 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • It's time to cut the umbilical cord lady. You have zero control over your grandchild and if you don't like the answers that are given to you that is too bad. The truth hurts.

    Answer by owl0210 at 9:28 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Ask your son if he can bring her over for a visit and maybe offer to pay for the flight.

    Answer by GinNTonic at 12:23 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • You can't force someone to fly out and visit you. We moved away from my husband's family (1800 miles) in 2005 and they haven't seen the kids since. We will never go back there to visit, so if they would like to see our kids, they will have to come this way.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 12:24 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • You can not force her mom to allow her to do that but the best way to go about it would be to talk to your son about it and see what he can do.

    Answer by LiLJeni at 6:28 PM on Oct. 3, 2010