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My dd's ages 10 and 8.5 yrs old came home from visiting my parents saying that "Nanna had slapped their legs" in church for fiddling around.

I was HOT when I heard this! I do NOT think that there is ANY reason to slap a child....EVER! I am court ordered (long story) to have my kids go to her two days per month. What should I do? I will go to jail if they don't go. Social services knows about it but doesn't "feel its a big enough concern to have them NOT go there. The reason it was court ordered was because DHS didn't think that I was doing well by not ever having any time away from my children. I am disabled so I don't work and we homeschool so they don't go to school.

 
Babylove76

Asked by Babylove76 at 1:07 PM on Oct. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 21 (10,227 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • i would petition the court to provide alternate forms of respite for two days and report the abuse. i think the court needs to re-evaluate what's more important - the children's well-being or their need to think for you
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 1:36 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Have a talk with her. Tell her not to slap your kids anymore and if she needs to seriously disipline them to do it in another manner like taking away toys, etc.
    GinNTonic

    Answer by GinNTonic at 1:11 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • There has got to be more to the story. You can not be court ordered to have your kids go with their grandma so you can have time to yourself. I have a 2 1/2 and never am without her nobody says anything to me. Being disabled or not! Sorry.
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 1:12 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • OP, then I suggest you talk to your mother. If she will not listen tell your lawyer you do not want her around and you will go againstthe state or whomever!
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 1:35 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Baby, I had to deal with CPS for my DD and her dad. Her Guardian ad litem was amazing! I hope yours is. I don't see it as that big of a deal but like you said you are the mom!
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 1:43 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Like I said, it's a long story. No, my parents (mom in particular) and I DO NOT have a good relationship. There are other parts to the court order that do NOT relate to this question, but the fact is that it is in there that they have to go their for "2 days for respite for (my name)". This court order lasts until next August (2011).

    ANYWAY!!! My issue is this: I am my children's mother and if I as their mother feel it is inappropriate to slap them on their legs, why would I let anyone ELSE do it?! According to my mother herself, she did not even try to shhhh them first - just outright slapped them on the legs! This is NOT how I want ANYONE to treat my kids! I don't think I am being unreasonable about this.

    Bottom line is: I am the mom. I have sole legal custody and placement of them. I have not given ANYONE permission to slap my kids. It should NOT be happening. PERIOD!
    Babylove76

    Comment by Babylove76 (original poster) at 1:23 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • delilahsmom1177: Thank you for your advice. I have told DHS about it and they are taking it very lightly. I think I will talk to my kids guardian ad litem (a lawyer for the kids). I hadn't thought of that till now. Thanks again!
    Babylove76

    Comment by Babylove76 (original poster) at 1:37 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • figaro8895: THANK YOU!! I agree 1000%! That's what I keep telling DHS that my kids matter first, but they keep telling me that if I don't do things for myself I won't be able to care for them. I just don't think that being abused (IMO this IS abuse!) is better than if they were with me all the time. I never ever had them away from me from birth on up til now, and having "some time for" myself isn't worth my kids being abused.
    Babylove76

    Comment by Babylove76 (original poster) at 1:41 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Did it leave a mark? If not then I am sure they are blowing it out of proportion as any 8-10 year old would. I am guessing your relationship with your parents isn't good if they have to have a court order to see them. It's 2 days a month and they weren't abused. They were corrected in a manner your don't normally use. Not saying I condone it just saying they are fine unless there is more to this story.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:10 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I smack my DD's legs for talking in church not hard just a little smack on the leg so they know to sit still and be quiet. I dont see anything wrong with it. Just my opinion but maybe you should talk to her and tell her you dont want her spanking your children.
    L0vingMy3Girls

    Answer by L0vingMy3Girls at 1:10 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

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