Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Can you make me laugh?

Im in the mood for some really good jokes. Whats your best joke?

Answer Question
 
mykidmylife

Asked by mykidmylife at 1:42 AM on Oct. 24, 2008 in Just for Fun

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, 'You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking.'


    The cat thought for a minute and then said, 'All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.'

    God said, 'Say no more.' Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow.

    A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat



    Lornamay

    Answer by Lornamay at 1:45 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • cont.
    The mice said, 'Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs, and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would not have to run again.'
    God answered, 'It is done.' All the mice had beautiful little roller skates.

    About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, 'Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?'

    The cat replied, 'Oh, it is WONDERFUL. I have never been so happy in my life. The pillow is so fluffy, and those little Meals on Wheels you have been sending over are delicious!'
    Lornamay

    Answer by Lornamay at 1:46 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • watch this video on you tube its called .what old people do for fun.
    robinalbright

    Answer by robinalbright at 1:52 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • a blonde, a brunette and a redhead are driving in the desert when their car breaks down. realizing they had to walk quite a ways before finding people, they each decide to take one thing. when they finally reach a house, they knock on the door. an old man answers, and they ask if they can use his phone to call a tow truck. the man agreed. after the phone call, they are waiting for the truck to arrive. the man turns to the redhead, and sees she's carrying a water bottle. he asks her why? she says "so when i get hot i can have a drink." he asks the brunette why she's carrying an umbrella, and she says "so when i get hot, i can protect myself from the sun." he turns to the blonde and asks why she's carrying a car door and she says "so when i get hot, i can just roll down the window!"
    llansky

    Answer by llansky at 2:01 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • a blonde, brunette and a redhead are being chased by the cops. their car runs out of gas so they pull over to the side of the road. they see some burlap sacks in the ditch so they each quickly climb into one. the cop pulls up behind the car, notices no one in it, but sees the sacks. he goes up to the first one with the redhead in it and gives it a kick. "meow" she says. "oh, its just a cat." he goes up to the brunettes sack and kicks it, and she says "woof." "oh, its just a dog." then he goes up to the sack with the blonde in it and gives it a kick, and she says "potato"
    llansky

    Answer by llansky at 2:05 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • two blondes are driving down the road, when they see another blonde in the middle of a corn field in a rowboat, paddling. the first blonde turns to the other and says "you know, its blondes like that who give us smart blondes a bad reputation." and the other turns to her and says "yeah! and if i could swim, i'd go out and beat the crap out of her!"
    llansky

    Answer by llansky at 2:06 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • i like blonde jokes... i hope no one is offended. i'm a blonde, too :)
    llansky

    Answer by llansky at 2:07 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • Nice jokes... I have heard the potato one so many times and it still cracks me up!!! gotta love it :)
    mykidmylife

    Answer by mykidmylife at 2:18 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • Here are the jokes that inspired this post.. my friend sent me this...
    During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how do
    you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.


    'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a
    teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty
    the bathtub.
    '

    'Oh, I understand,' said the visitor.

    'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or
    the teacup..'

    'No' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the plug.

    Do you want a bed near the window?'
    mykidmylife

    Answer by mykidmylife at 2:19 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • And I wrote her back with...
    So the other day I was walking past the mental asylum that is down town. As Im walking along the fence to their courtyard I hear all these people yelling "96, 96, 96, 96" over and over again. I spot a tiny peak whole in the fence. As I walk over to it they get louder "96, 96, 96". I approach the whole, stand in front of it debating if I should peak in. "96, 96" and they stop and it goes dead silent. My curiosity gets the best of me, and I bend down. I put my eye to the whole to look through... OUCH WTF THE CRAZY BASTARDS POKED ME IN THE EYE! Their laughter roars as I grab my eye and stand back up in shock. I start to walk away... as they all start to chant "97, 97, 97 , 97".
    mykidmylife

    Answer by mykidmylife at 2:20 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.