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How many of your S/O or husbands not want to have sex but 3 times a month?

My husband told me he thinks SEX is over rated coming from the man who had an affair for 7 months while I was prego 2 years ago! Tonight I lost it I don't throw hints I act but he turns away and tells me he dosen't mean for me to feel rejected....; What crap is that! What should I do all I have done tonight is cry I am at a total loss for anything. Then says he doesn't want another baby for a few more years but I think he forgot they have to grow for 9 months!!!!! He was okay before I had my misscarriage now I feel like he dosn't want me at all. I am really depressed.

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Beccah2

Asked by Beccah2 at 2:10 AM on Oct. 24, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • have you discussed this with him? maybe the miscarriage is really getting to him and he doesn't know how to express his feelings.

    or perhaps he's starting to get bored in the bedroom, maybe you guys could try spicing things up a bit (if you don't already). go buy a cute little lingerie outfit, maybe an edible bra, some warming lube, toys, movies, books, dirty magazines, etc. see if that doesn't trip his trigger. if it doesn't, i'd be concerned about some underlying issue
    llansky

    Answer by llansky at 2:20 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • I personally would tell him to buy me a sybian and make sure we get lots of snuggles and kisses.
    raybell

    Answer by raybell at 3:23 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • MY S/O IS LIKE THIS AND HAS BEEN EVER SINCE I HAD OUR SON, IT EVEN STARTED WHILE I WAS PREGO BUT NOW I CAN TELL YOU HONESTLY N THE LAST FOUR WEEKS WE HAVE HAD SEX THREE TIMES ONE OF WHICH HE MADE ME FEEL LIKE A DOG AND DIDN'T EVEN LOOK AT ME OR KISS ME JUST MADE A COUPLE OF MOANS AND THAT WAS IT..........I FEEL LIKE ITS BECAUSE I AM NOT ATTRACTIVE TO HIM ANYMORE I HAVE LOST ALMOST ALL OF MY BABY WEIGHT AND ITS ONLY BEEN 10 WEEKS SINCE LIL MAN WAS BORN......SO I DONT KNOW WHAT HIS DEAL IS I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW YOUR NOT ALONE
    hautemama83

    Answer by hautemama83 at 3:38 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • What is a sybian?
    NICNLV

    Answer by NICNLV at 3:43 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • I think that maybe the miscarriage may have a bit to do with it...Perhaps he is subconsiously protecting you and/or himself from going through the pain you went through before...Do you think it is possible he is doing this as defense mechanism?
    I'm very sorry you are going through this Beccah. I too am missing a connection :(
    NICNLV

    Answer by NICNLV at 3:48 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • YA KNOW IT SEEM LIKE ALOT OF WOMEN IN HERE ARE GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING AND I JUST DONT UINDERSTAND WHY WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE MEN, I MEAN CRAP I THOUGHT GUYS WANTED WOMNE TO BE MORE SEXUAL SO WTF IS THE DEAL, AND DONT THEY REALIZE THAT IT HURTS US BADLY WHEN WE GET SHOT DOWN ;-( ?
    hautemama83

    Answer by hautemama83 at 3:51 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • I know exactly what you are feeling. I got preggo with my son back in 2005 well ever since then my DH has totally changed. Before my DS was born DH and I would do it like rabbits lol...and now 3 yrs and another baby latter..our sex life just sucks. I always ask him if its me..he says no. He says its him..he says he's always tired,or he's too fat (he's 5'9 230lbs) he's not fat at all...but that's his excuse. I have noticed though that's when I don't ask or hint..he wants it more. Gosh, I don't understand..I have guy friends who complain about not getting any as often as they would want to..and here I am, practically begging for it...uuuugh...MEN!!!!!...I'm sorry ur going through this, but ur not alone..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:08 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • My hubby wanted sex 1-2x a month and I was depressed for a long time. I then went to sexual therapist who taught me to take charge of my sexual outlet and find out what brings me pleasure and to buy sex toys and/or aids. My husband often orgasmed before me and left me hanging and I was tired of all the hoopla. Quite frankly, ladies, sex is a tiring physical act we demand of our men and some of them need to take viagra or its equivalent. So don't take it personally. Make a decision: either you remain faithful and learn to please yourself With or without your SO or you cheat and walk on the wild side.
    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 7:08 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • 3 times a month??? We only do it about once a month, and sometimes not even that much. We actually have a very strong and loving relationship, and are very close.
    The issue isn't how much you've been having sex, but the fact that one of you has been unfaithful. That's something that can cause trust issues and insecurity. And that causes depression. Communication is important in a relationship, and it's the only way to get to where you are both secure and trusting of each other.
    Good luck!
    Ooftacat

    Answer by Ooftacat at 7:26 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • I know exactly what you mean! I had a baby in July of last yr and we have had sex 3 times since then. At first DH said it was b/c we were out of "socks" (condoms), so I purchased some (I don't know why he didn't just buy some if he knew we were out). Then he said it was b/c the way that I disciplined our kids was a big turn-off (heaven forbid I enforce chores and respect around here!). Then he said it was b/c he was always tired and stressing over bills....it's not like we've acquired new bills...always had bills! Then he said it was b/c he had just gotten "lazy" about our relationship...tell me something I don't know. He hasn't worked at our relationship b/c I think he doesn't care about it. The only reason he sticks around, IMOP, is for the kids. Whatever!!!! I'm tired of being the only one pursuing....I'd like to be pursued, and if he doesn't want to be with me, I know other men who do....
    cuby

    Answer by cuby at 9:06 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

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