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stay home dad - something new to me

Good morning!

I currently work full time, pay all the bills plus more. My career has allowed me to have financial freedom. My boyfriend (soon to be husband) loves to cook ( I hate to cook) and works as well. Although he has a profession, His salary is 1/4 of what mine is, in addition is having a had time finding a steady job. When we get married, it will be obvious that he will probably be the one staying at home (when we have kids). This is difficult for me because I would love to work part time or stay at home and raise our kids...I hate the fact that I will miss out on family activities due to work. Last but not least, I think he might feel that he is not going to be the

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:33 PM on Oct. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • We did the SAH-dad thing for about 5 years or so. We found that day-care for our young ones was more than he made at the time. So it made financial sense. Later it bacame necessary because our youngest had really bonded to him and would not let him go back to work. This was such an awesome time for us. It was also hell.

    Most folks could not appreciate our decision, so they told him to "man up" and "get a real job". It was frustrating and demoralizing for him. Plus, re-entry was just as hard as it is for us girls. He still has to explain those years. Some think its cool, some hold it against him.

    The awesome part was that I got to show my kids that women don't have to be the mom, and we can still run a good household and a career. We had to split the duties a lot. I cooked and helped with the cleaning. He did the laundry, yardwork, and the discipline. He still "lead the family", distribution was different.
    WyndenSkie

    Answer by WyndenSkie at 1:42 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • It seems like this situation is going to present a resentment issue down the line for you. You are already aware of your feelings of wanting to work part time and not miss holidays.
    Can he get some more schooling so in the next couple of years he can take over as head bread winner?

    I would not be happy with those switched roles. I grew up in a traditional family. Daddy worked. Mommy stayed home. I would have no respect for my husband if I had to support the family.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 2:53 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • My dh would gladly be the sahd. We both have careers and my salary is almost 1/2 less than his.
    Mom2Just1

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 4:33 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Also I would have no problem with him being home. We do not live within gender roles either. I would gladly be the sole bread winner if I made enough. But I will need to get my Ph.D to get that. Soon though...
    Mom2Just1

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 4:35 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Two each their own. Be sure that's not going to cause you to hold back your real feelings. Head means head.......not Tail!
    peacockmom

    Answer by peacockmom at 5:43 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • If he is ok with that it would b ok. My dh found out how hard it is 2 take care of the kids and 2 do everything. He went back 2 work and now I stay at home.
    couger108

    Answer by couger108 at 2:42 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

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