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How do you trust your bf again.. if you can't forgive him for lying?


Asked by gogogirl79 at 1:33 PM on Oct. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,967 Credits)
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Answers (7)
  • If you can't forgive him, it will be extremely hard to trust him again. They kinda go hand-in-hand.

    Answer by rio_burb at 11:27 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I don't think you can get to where you trust him without forgiving him first. Guess you have to think about whether it's worth it or not.

    Answer by catharsis at 1:37 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • It takes time, sometimes a long time. I think you have to decide how committed you are to getting there, to the place where you can trust him again. It took years before I could really trust my now DH again. Was it worth it? Yes! Was it difficult? Absolutely. He has to earn your trust back, but you have to deal with the amount of time it will take for that to happen.

    Answer by blessedwithree at 2:18 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • He does not seem to want to take the time or the energy to try to work through it. We tried talking about it. But, it keeps coming up on an almost daily basis.....He thinks it's just going to go away on it's own. If i begin asking him why?...Why this, why that?....He tells me i am bitching again and he can't deal with it. I am losing my mind trying to figure out what to do?...If he has no patience with me and trying to win my trust back....What's the sense?

    Comment by gogogirl79 (original poster) at 2:26 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Forgiveness can take time, sometimes a very long time. Forgiveness is not for the other person but for yourself to experience freedom from the pain. Once true forgiveness has happened it allows you to see the person in a different and sometimes better view. Don't rush it allow it to happen when the time feels right. Sometimes you may not be able to get past things and forgive and know that that is okay too.

    Answer by Congenial at 2:32 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Now how is someone else going to tell you how to do that with your BF? You just said that YOU can't forgive...that YOUR answer. Move on.

    Answer by peacockmom at 5:27 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I was hoping HE would be more understanding that HE was the one who hurt me. So, that WE could get past it....Because if HE loves me as much as HE says he does....Then Yeah.......

    ....Doesn't matter anymore....We just ended it a few minutes ago over the phone/email.....
    .....And i will NEVER GO BACK!.......It's not worth all this.....Thanks for all the advice ladies!

    Comment by gogogirl79 (original poster) at 5:33 PM on Oct. 3, 2010