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2 Bumps

Lost Sex Interest adult content

DH and I have been married for over 11 years and together for 16. For the past few years I have zero interest in sex. I have no need for it. Could go forever without it. I feel horrible because, of course, he doesn't feel the same way. He is less in need compared to many other men. I cringe every time I feel I should which sounds horrible. I will say I have no interest or even look at other men for that matter. So I don't think it is him per se. I will add we tried to get pregnant for 8 years. Which I think certainly had a hand in ruining our sex life. I do love him and want to enjoy him in all aspects but I don;t know how. Has anyone else gone through this?? Any thoughts suggestions???

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:35 PM on Oct. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • When I see this question, I always wonder how emotionally connected the couple is because sex for a woman begins early in the day and outside the bedroom. Every one of us has a specific love language and if your husband isn't speaking yours, that would explain your lack of interest in the physical. Another killer of the sex drive is anger in any form. If your husband has offended you and you've never dealt with it, but you still remember the sting of it or the anger associated with whatever he did, then you cannot expect yourself to be sexually interested in him. There are any number of good books around that will help you discover exactly what your problem might be, but I doubt that it is physical in nature. It is most likely an emotionally rooted problem.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:41 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I have felt like this before. Try acting like you are interested in him. Fake it til you make it sort of idea. Do it for a while, just think in your head man my hubby is soo hot! Wow I can't wait til he gets home . . Even if you don't feel that way in the beginning just keep thinking those thoughts, and you may REALLY find yourself 'wanting him again. Really. . . try it.

    Answer by blessedwithree at 2:14 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • OMG I totally agree with what NannyB is saying bc anonymous even though everything you just explained sounds just like me and the part where NannyB said if you have something on your mind that your dh did that it really affected you somehow I can't get sexually aroused either that is so weird but so true. lately I have been feeling just li,e you anonymous but I force myself atleast so he can get his and if it feels right for me I'll jump on the bang I could be soooo turned off and after messing around alittle I can get mine and my dh will say ...I thought you said you did not want to do it... I'm like well if you can't beat them join GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:15 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I agree with NannyB. I've always read that great sex is 85% or more mental. Get your "mental" in order and the rest is a piece of cake; however, get a physical too just to make sure things are working properly. Sometimes imbalanced hormones can screw things up as well and deflate the libido. When I had a problem like that I read to take 5 mg of DHEA twice a day. I put some in my tea. I have no idea if it worked or if my brain thought it was working but my "want to" came back until the doctor could fix my hormones and I had no need of the special tea anymore.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:23 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • a couple of things.... 1st, get your hormones checked. if you've had fertility problems and now of loss of sexual interest your hormones may be totally our of whack. 2nd, see a therapist to work through your loss of interest as it relates to your marrige and fertility issues. 3rd, talk to you him. tell him how you feel. that's not him, you are simply not interested in sex at all and that you are taking steps to improve your physical and emotional health. maybe you guys can agree on some interem physical contact as you figure things out.

    Answer by rfurlongg at 2:54 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I agree with getting a check up~~~ make sure YOU are ok . Then stress or depression, matter how slight can affect things. So, if everything with you is ok , maybe figure out what you really want. Women change sometimes as time passes. And that does not mean its wrong. How about a new intrest for you , hobby etc, that gets your blood going? A joint project with him??? That helps me a lot . Get involved with something you are super passionate about. !

    Answer by CapricornLady at 3:04 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • i aggre with all go to the ob

    Answer by DWeitz at 10:49 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

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