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9 Bumps

What do you think abuse or not?

In another question a woman said she hits her 2 1/2 year old with a wooden spoon. Do you think this is abuse or not? I do and I am NOT anti-SPANKING!

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delilahsmom1177

Asked by delilahsmom1177 at 1:52 PM on Oct. 3, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 19 (7,071 Credits)
Answers (67)
  • If she doesn't leave a mark the no, I don't think it's abuse. Using a spoon doesn't mean she is spanking the hell outta her child. Sometimes a wooden spoon is more intimidating than your hand and will scare them into listening more than the actual spanking. My son is 7yrs old and I've been known to swat his behind with it.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 1:59 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • worried I understand maybe a 7 year old but TWO?Really that is a BABY!
    delilahsmom1177

    Comment by delilahsmom1177 (original poster) at 2:00 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I was spanked a handful of times with a wooden spoon and my parents were not abusive. I don't have any Trama from it. I knew I was being bad and that there were consequences for doing so. I can't say that I will or will not spank (I'm pregnant with my first) but I personally, do not think it is abuse unless it's a full on beating.
    Sonnyswife

    Answer by Sonnyswife at 2:02 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • spanking is not abuse when it used for discipline, but when you discipline specifically to cause pain.... THAT is abuse. So yes I would consider spanking with a spoon abuse.
    Namaste17

    Answer by Namaste17 at 2:03 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I've gotta agree, I could maybe see using a paddle type thing on an older child, but not a two year old. DD is almost 2, and I can't imagine spanking her, much less taking a spoon to her butt. It's completely uncalled for at that age.
    catharsis

    Answer by catharsis at 2:04 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • OK maybe I should be more specific, she says she gives one warning for pulling the cousins off the couch and jumping on them(why not stop her when she's doing it) and then hits her with a wooden spoon. At 2 years old they are just learning things, plus she says her DD is now becoming violent!
    delilahsmom1177

    Comment by delilahsmom1177 (original poster) at 2:04 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • She needs to try something like distracting her after telling her not to do that, and why. You can't expect a 2 year old to behave all the time, otherwise it wouldn't be called the terrible twos, now would it? Spanking should really only be used when the child is old enough to understand why they are being spanked, IMO. And 2 is definitely not old enough.
    catharsis

    Answer by catharsis at 2:10 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I don't spank with a wooden spoon, but I know some people don't want to use their hand to spank with, so they use something else. Just a different way of thinking. I have heard that hands are used for loving on your children, not for spanking, so something else is used for that.
    blessedwithree

    Answer by blessedwithree at 2:10 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I would not even bother asking a spanking question here on CM because the majority here are Pro-spanking. There seems to be a lack of education on how to deal with children's behavior without needing to inflict bodily pain. I guess most of the Moms here have learned this from the example of their parents hitting them. But I really hope that new and impressionable Mothers here do not take on this behavior and instead treat their child like a human being and learn to discipline by not hitting. there are Many parent books available for free at the library on disciplining without hurting the child. Children are Not animals (although I would never hit an animal either) , so please any Moms out there do not listen to the arguments for spanking and don't hurt your babies. I know I will get many thumbs down from spanking Moms because it is much easier to hit then take the time and effort to actually teach proper behavior.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:11 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • worried I understand maybe a 7 year old but TWO?Really that is a BABY!

    Using a spoon does not assume she is hitting the 2yr old as hard as she can. Could be just a light tap...who knows. No marks=no abuse. At least according to CPS standards.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 2:14 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

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