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When do you get involved?

My dd (age 7) is dealing with a friend who is not being too nice lately.
The friend can be bossy and bully-ish. The most recent situation happened on Friday. The girl pulled something out of my dd's hair, and also hit her with her folder. (They were having a beautiful hair contest in lunch - don't ask. lol).

My dd is a nice girl (really) and is not comfortable confronting this girl. We are trying to give her ideas, and also tell her it's ok if she is not friends with her.
I plan to email the teacher to give her a heads up, but should I get involved now or let my dd try to handle it on her own?
Should I talk to the mom now also?
What else can I tell my dd to help her deal with this bossy girl?


Asked by ARmom at 2:26 PM on Oct. 3, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 18 (4,909 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I would kinda give her a little bit more time to try to handle it... some advice and heads up to teacher (also ask teacher about her opinion... she may have insights into what is going on and ways for dd to handle it etc.) and can also pull in some subtle help .... like having a counselor come in to work with the class/girls and/or do a lesson on friendship, bullying, leadership, assertiveness etc.

    that way there is help but its not OBVIOUS ....
    talk to dd about what she wants to... she may want you to intervene but then again she may not (which is DEFINATELY where the above would come in)

    give it a week or so... if it con. or gets worse... take it up the ladder and demand a conf. with counselor AND/OR if you know the parents approach them with the issue.

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 8:44 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • i would let the teacher know so she can correct the problem, also so she can let the parents know, if that doesnt work, then i would request a conferernce w/the school principle.

    Answer by gabby06 at 2:29 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I would definitly try sitting down with the parents if you know them or doing what gabby06 said. I mean it is definitly time to intervene since she is only 7 years old. And if you don't know the parents talk to a teacher and ee about arranging a sit down with the parents.

    Answer by mama408 at 2:40 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Before you get involved have your daughter and a third party sit down and try to hash it out maybe the teacher or the school counselor someone who can help them talk it out. If this does not work now its your time to get involved.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 2:58 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • talk to the parents and the teacher... bullying is more common now than ever and the sooner that they learn that it is wrong the less likely it will continue.... I thought girls were mean when I was in highschool...

    my little sister who is 17 going on 18 is in her senior year right now and she started talking to this boy and this girl randomly got her number and started texting her all sorts of things saying "she was ugly and there was no way any boy would like her and to go kill yourself you stupid nig hair"

    yeahhhh.... baddddd..... this needs to stop

    Answer by FITmama2B at 2:58 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Don't. She has to learn to work out her own problems. Unless she's being physically hurt, I would let her handle it.

    Answer by WomanWitty at 9:36 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • teach your daughter to use her words to communicate to this "friend" that she does not appreciate how she is acting. If it is something more serious in teh future then talk to the teacher, but give your daughter the chance to handle it on her own.

    Answer by KTMOM at 11:35 PM on Oct. 5, 2010