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Is it mean to do upon others as they do unto you when it is rude?

So my husband always leaves things in the passengers seat when I get in the car. He'll be sitting in the driver seat and makes no attempt to move his work stuff out of the seat when I get in. I've told him that I find it rude many times. So today for the first time (in 14 years) I was waiting in the drivers seat and I had my purse and books in the seat beside me. Normally I would move them before he got in the car. I didn't this time and when he opened the door he complained that all my stuff was in his seat. I just said "It sucks when someone leaves things in the seat as you are getting in, doesn't it!?" He was quite annoyed but I don't care. Am I mean to do this or am I teaching him how it feels?

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:30 PM on Oct. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Teaching him a lesson!

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 2:39 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I have done things like that to my df too. For example dinner , i cook n serve the plates , he takes a cup n ice n serves only his drink, im like wth? only you, i think thats rude so i started doing the same when i have made dinner early , i only poured on drink for myself.Did it a few times & now when he pours drinks , he pours them for the both of us.

    Answer by gabby06 at 2:40 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Well... I would have probably done the same thing.... :) BUT I think the best thing to do in a marriage is to ignore the little things and just let them go.. It's things like this that end up building up frustration in both of you that can end up doing damage to your marriage... I think in the past, spouses looked past these things more and it led to marriages lasting longer and being happier...

    Answer by momofonelilguy at 2:42 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do!!!

    I occasionally do it to my husband too...for instance, we have a 9month old puppy and she's chewed things and went potty in the house and when I would tell him (he would asks how the dogs have been) and he would respond with "well, where were you" or something like that. And to me, it made me feel like a child, ya know. So one day, I was at work and he texted saying that he had to spank Ginger for chewing for pottying in the house, and I responded with "Well, I could ask where were you to not be paying attention, but I won't do that because I know accidents happen, but now you know how if feels" or something along those lines.

    Answer by dlandrum at 2:45 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Hopefully he understood your point. I think it was smart to let him see how annoying it is.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 2:48 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • If it bothers you to the point of making you crazy~~~ then address it with him. If you cannot solve it with sugar, sometimes men listen with vinegar, but only when the sugar doesn't work. I sometimes find the little things that fester up, turn into bigger issues than something truly wrong. In fact the little things are more dangerous because they have a way of making a snowball of of all kinds of stuff that dont add up to beans. Im not saying ignore it , but know you have tried once you have made that good hearted attempt .

    Answer by CapricornLady at 2:52 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I don't think it's mean and if a person thinks about how annoying that is, the behavior can change. I don't think it's healthy to ignore things like that. I've seen the result firsthand and it comes to something like, in the examples I've seen, resentment boiling over and the wife calling and complaining to her adult children about how irritating their father is.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 2:54 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Just like in a verbal conversation where you would match tone and actual verbiage posed to you, you can match actions. Don't go over in 'tone' and don't go under but match exactly and people get what you are doing.

    Answer by rio_burb at 11:24 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • good 4 u, now maybe he'll think twice next time u go to get in the passenger seat!!!

    Answer by angie3897 at 5:36 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

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