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do u think once a child is grown and has a kid of their own for them to live with one or both parents for free?

my ex thinks i should still do for his grown kids when he never was there for them when they were little and now they are grown he wants to call the shots and still make me responsiable to do for them. if it wasnt for me my one daughter wouldnt have got on state assistance i helped her and took her there. i have medical problems and tons of appointments myself and gas is way to high for me to run12 miles whenever my daughters need to go someplace they live with daddy so let him do it.

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sad_eyes1961

Asked by sad_eyes1961 at 6:45 PM on Jul. 2, 2008 in Adult Children (18+)

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Answers (5)
  • Yup let HIM foot the bills. You already raised them so what makes YOU responsible for raising the grandkids if the Mom is around?
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 7:01 PM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • I feel that when your child is grown and has a child of there own, no they shouldnt be able to live with you for free, they need to learn to hold there own, I remember when I had my first born, I had no choice but to move back home with my parent's, my father charged me 400. a month and help pay the phone bill witch to me knowing how it is on your own was a wonderful deal, and I could still save to get my own place, witch worked out great, If your child really want's her own place she'll get it, but if your allowing her or him to mooch there not going to want to leave, so yah charge them, but don't take all of there money you need to help too.
    sillybabys

    Answer by sillybabys at 7:57 PM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • Let me get this straight- should a daughter or son live with parents and grandbaby free? They should be supported, and there should be a plan helping this parent to work, earn and save money and a future goal, but I don't know that I would charge rent. I would expect my daughter or son to work and help pay for food and bills, as well as take care of their baby's needs (diapers, clothes) when they could and most definately if they had a cell phone or cable, it would be 100% their responsibility to pay.
    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 7:57 PM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • First off it just depends on the situation. But in general what I would due is set a limit on how long they could live with you. I would make stipulations too (job, savings account, covering own expenses). I would make sure that they understand that this is only temparary. My max would be 60 days. Because that is enough time (even if they just started a job) to save up enough for a place and you said it to, there is state assistance. As far as paying rent I would sit down with them and make up a budget so that you know how much they make and how much they can afford.

    If they come home with expensive gifts or anything frivalous, they would have 2 weeks.
    2murphyboys

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 9:31 PM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • I think when your kids have grown and have a family they can live at home with the parents however we as parents need to set expectations and goals. We should also make them help out with the bills and rent this will only help them in the long run to be responsible. Remember our goal is to make them self sufficient.
    Nena2u

    Answer by Nena2u at 12:22 AM on Jul. 3, 2008

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