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How to NOT get frustrated?

My husband works at a VERY slow pace.. it takes him at least an hour longer to get ready than it does me. To get things done at the house it takes him an entire day to pick things up and put them where they need to go. I cant stand it. it takes me a few hours to CLEAN really CLEAN then entire house.. and him an entire day to wash a sink of dishes.. and to pick up a few items out of the living room. I dont know how to not get frustrated. I am on bedrest and cant do anything so i wouldnt care how long it took him if i could just do it myself but i cant stand how long it takes because NOTHING ever gets done.

 
Ross2010

Asked by Ross2010 at 7:23 PM on Oct. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,420 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I know how hard it is to be on bedrest & the house being a mess.To me,it sounds like that is the way he is.Have a talk with him.Don't be angry.You catch alot more bee with honey instead of vinegar.If the talk doesn't help,can you have a friend come once a day and help out a little?Maybe even his Mom.And maybe she show him that you really need some help.It takes my SO longer to get ready to go places too.He is slow in so many ways.But I accepted that about him a long time ago.My suggestion is when your baby is born & your hormones are back to normal,accept the way he is and help him work on his issues.There is a big difference in trying to change your man and helping him with his "stuff"If you love someone,you don't try to change them.But we all have work we need to do on our selves.Good luck mama!!!
    bvannkissy

    Answer by bvannkissy at 7:51 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Just try to relax and let it go- life will go on just fine even if everything around the house isn't done
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 7:25 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • you can be thankful he is helping you or you can be a pain in his rear so he doesn't want to help you .... and you can do it all yourself. I am not trying to be rude, I am being truthful. I have seen so many DH's stop helping because they are being picked at all the time. If you don't have to do it, what does it matter???
    Pick up knitting or something you can focus your mind on so it is not on picking on him. It sounds like you have a good man and you are frustrated not being able to help. You are blessed to have someone who wants to help you. Maybe think about something you can do to say thank you to him.
    Bed rest stinks, but don't make it worse by annoying the ppl that love you! Get your frustrations out in something you can focus on (knitting, reading a book, etc.) and not hurting those you love.
    KaraMia15

    Answer by KaraMia15 at 7:31 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • nothing but a good talk and some action on his behalf will help.... best of luck
    miritrose

    Answer by miritrose at 7:25 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Does he have ADD? Or maybe even ADD without it being diagnosed yet? That sounds exactly like me when I don't take my ADD meds... that's why I ask.
    If I try to skip my meds on my day off, my mind is so scattered getting even 1 thing productive accomplished like a load of laundry or a sink full of dishes is a freakin miracle. With my meds.. I am a normal, productive adult.
    FeelinYummy

    Answer by FeelinYummy at 7:39 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • im not sure he has ADD but he doesnt seem to get things done. not bc he cant focus but because he takes breaks the entire time or he stops to do something that doesnt need to be done. we have cookouts occassionally and instead of him helping to get the house ready he wastes time with cleaning a room that NOONE goes into or mopping the carport???? its a carport, the dirt will be back in an hour. one day we had to get the kids playroom finished to make room for the crib and he was out riding around picking up the grass that he cut the day before and my parents were there to help get the playroom ready. and who cares about picking grass up?? its nature it will take care of it self
    Ross2010

    Comment by Ross2010 (original poster) at 7:44 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • LOL! I sounds like ADD to me! Not funny to you, though, I'm sure. Tell him to focus. Try to redirect him to the task he needs to finish.
    As for not getting frustrated, I have no freakin idea. I haven't figured that one out yet either.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 8:37 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

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