Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I really need some help; My fianc'e is leaving for basic training in 2 weeks when he returns we want to get married, The fact of him being gone is upsetting me terribly. I do love him very much but im worried how can i deal with all this?

I am soon to be 18, Yes i am young but i love this man very much. He leaves for navy basic training, I am very proud of him but yet still worried about how it will be when he is away? Like will he be home for christmas or have time off if he has to go straight to A school for christmas and so we can get married?

Answer Question
 
tammygal12209

Asked by tammygal12209 at 7:39 PM on Oct. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (80 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • You need to find ppl who know what you are going thru. Once he is on a base and you are married and living there, there is a lot of support on base. Until that time you need to find ppl who understand what you are going thru. I got married to my hubby at 20 and he was in the Marines for 7yrs.
    KaraMia15

    Answer by KaraMia15 at 7:44 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • You said it is terribly upsetting to you that he is going to be at basic training.. but one thing you need to go ahead and make sure you are ready to deal with is the fact that - they will get deployed, they won't have time to just do whatever like a civilian.. it is their job.

    I can't tell you how it is when the navy gets out of boot camp since I am a marine wife. My husband went to basic then got 10 days off before he had to go to school of infantry (SOI) then directly to his duty station... Every branch is different. Remember the life of a military wife is not the same as any other.. It takes a very strong and independent person to stand by your man even when you have to watch him leave your side for several months...
    ajc88

    Answer by ajc88 at 7:47 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • He is going to be gone a LOT during your marriage, so you better get used to it. You are just babies....why do you need to get married so young? Go to college, girl, live a little. Get a crappy apartment with your girlfriends. Stay in your hometown where you will still have friends and family around you to support you. Once you get married and ship off to a base, you won't know ANYONE and he won't be around much. What's your rush?

    I live in a military town and see so many young wives, 3 kids before 25, no education, no family nearby, just their hubby. Breaks my heart. These girls are so lonely.
    getrealmama

    Answer by getrealmama at 8:14 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • If you are having this much of a hard time now, then you might want to rethink getting married just yet. It will be MUCH harder being a military wife. It's a way of life, and you can't change it. You have to change to it. You have to adjust, and adjust a lot. Find some books on being a Navy wife. I'm an Army wife, I can't help you much. But, I'm sure there is a Navy Wife group on here. Go find it, they can help you.
    He *should* get time off at Christmas. *Should*, but I can't say for sure. He might not even know for sure. Just go find that group, someone there might know, or their hubby would. GL!
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 8:33 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Have to agree with why are you in such a hurry ? If I had married the man I was engaged to when I was 17 - let's just say I'm glad I didn't !!! Got married in my 20's and still did it wrong - thought I loved him too - he has been emotionally abusive for 27 years now - and now I am disabled and can't support myself to leave.

    Had my daughter at age 30 - so very glad I did wait to do that !!! I could never have given her all that I have been able to give her if I had been so young. She still lives at home at nearly age 19 and I love having her here. Have been able to give her everything she ever wanted and then some, and we are able to pay her way through college so she won't start her life with any debt.

    Definitely things to think about before getting married so young and even thinking of starting a family so young. It WILL be hard - military wives have to do so much ALONE. If you can't - don't get married right now!
    JustMyOpinion22

    Answer by JustMyOpinion22 at 5:51 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.