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I am an African-American mom with a biracial daughter, and I don't buy her white dolls...am I a bigot?

I just have a "thing" against white dollies. I refuse to buy them. I try to buy her mainly A-A dolls, but there aren't that many available. For her past birthday, I settled for a Dora doll...at least it was hispanic.

Growing up, there weren't a lot of black dolls around, and so I wound up with a lot of blonde-haired, blue eyes ones. So I guess that's part of the reason why I want my daughter to have lots of different black dolls.

Do you think I'm wrong for how I feel? I'm not ashamed of her white heritage (I wasn't raised to be racist towards anyone).

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:07 PM on Oct. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (40)
  • As a white mother, I only buy my kids white dolls! I mean they are white too, but I guess that it is your choice!Just becuase you buy black, and I buy white doesnt make us racist or a bigot! Smile, its okay!
    JoLee12345

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 1:48 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • So you can have sex with a white man and have his child, but you can't let her have a white dolly? Why don't you buy her both so she can identify with both.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 9:10 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • If you are pushing her towards dolls of YOUR choice and NOT hers, then yes. Have you thought about letting her choose her next doll and seeing what she picks??

    One of my daughter's dolls growing up was one she picked because she said it was pretty. Not because it was white or hispanic or of african heritage. But because it was prettiest....and that's how WE should look at them....
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 9:11 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I find it odd that you have a bi racial daughter, that is HALF WHITE, to "not feel comfortable" buying a doll that is white colored. I think its' odd and a bit racist that people in general that are bi racial always "own up" to being black, but say nothing of being white. Half is half....I think it is good that you are willing to let your daughter choose if she wants, what she wants. I guess this question is just strange. How you feel is up to you...if your wondering enough to ask on CM, then you already know the answer
    minimo77

    Answer by minimo77 at 10:03 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Would it make me a bigot if I refused to buy my biracial child a black doll? Yep. Why would it be any different for you refusing to buy a white doll? We are a white family and my kids have dolls that are all colors.

    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 9:19 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I am biracial...black mom, white dad. Growing up, we had all different ethnicities of dolls. It would have been weird to just have only one race of dolls, since we weren't just white or just black.
    art.diva

    Answer by art.diva at 2:04 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Just because you went through that as a child you should not let it affect your daughters childhood . Not all "white" dolls are blonde hair and blue eyes anymore and it is a part of her heritage that she has a right to be exposed to !
    mamahol

    Answer by mamahol at 9:44 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • i think it does some what show her the difference. you know mommy buys AA dolls and daddy buys white dolls.. maybe you both should buy her some of each. do you want her to grow up looking at people by skin color or how they treat her. im sure she realizes when you only buy her AA dolls.
    Ross2010

    Answer by Ross2010 at 10:09 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Exactly what Minimo said - the fact that you are asking here means you already know there is something strange with your logic. If a white person said exactly what you said in your question, she would be absolutely SKEWERED for being a racist. Have whatever dolls you want in your house, but please take some time and think seriously about your feelings regarding race and how your biases might be affecting your biracial daughter. Just like having a childhood with no black dollies affected you and your outlook.....what is she going to say about HER childhood later on?
    getrealmama

    Answer by getrealmama at 12:07 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • I find it weird that you would go out of your way to search for a doll by plastic color. Actually it makes me laugh pretty hard. I understand wanting to make sure your child has the dolls that you did not. I can tell you my daughter has a wide variety of dolls and it didn't take any effort and there was no settling. I supose as long as your daughter isn't asking for a certain doll and you don't say "sorry she is white you can't have her"
    seturkey

    Answer by seturkey at 9:13 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

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