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am i being selfish?

i have been on bedrest for a little over 2 months and i cant do anything AT ALL. my husband keeps on with this he cant do anything for himself.. he isnt very helpful with our 2 year old.. and not at all with things around the house. should i care if he gets his nights out? i havent had one since i got preggo and now im confined to the bed...

 
Ross2010

Asked by Ross2010 at 9:30 PM on Oct. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,420 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Your not being selfish, it can be very frustrating to be stuck in a bed with nothing to do. Have you tried communicating your frustrations with him. Maybe he can bring you home a special dinner, or a movie with lit candles. You need to talk to him, with out communication there is only frustration and building anger. Good Luck Mama, I am sorry you have to be on bed rest.
    zakityzak

    Answer by zakityzak at 9:37 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • No, your husband is being selfish. You're the one on bedrest in order to ensure the safety and health of you and your child. It is a VERY hard thing to do. Its his child too and he needs to be putting his family 1st. Sure, maybe if he was helping out more with your other child and making sure you're actually on bedrest, then after your toddler is in bed, an evening out would be understandable, but from what you're saying its not like that.
    Mom_2_cuties

    Answer by Mom_2_cuties at 9:33 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Well it depends, whats your idea of not very helpful with the 2yo? Is it just because it's not the way you'd do it, or is he just not there.
    Is he getting overwhelmed, with work, house work, a toddler, and helping you too? That stuff is hard for men. If he wants to go out once in awhile I don't see the big deal if 2yo is in bed. Unless it's every night or something. Maybe he just needs a break. Have a friend or family member come help out once in awhile just to break it up a little.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 9:37 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • @ music mom. not very helpful as in not at all. my parents, aunt, and sister take care of her bc he wont get out of bed. when we are at our house I have to get up to make her breakfast, the potty, change clothes, etc. he lays in bed like 3 hours after she is up and when he is out of bed. he sits there and plays on his phone, he wont help make sure she doesnt stay out of things that she doesnt need to be in, he doesnt do anything to help. and if it were when she went to bed EVERY ONCE in a while that would be dif if he helped. he dont and stil whines bc he cant go out and do things like get drunk with the boys..
    Ross2010

    Comment by Ross2010 (original poster) at 9:43 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Well then, I think you already have your answer.....
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 9:48 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Sounds like he needs to grow up!
    zakityzak

    Answer by zakityzak at 11:38 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • And while you are getting snippy with me, you didn't post facts to make a judgement as to wether you were or not. YOU ASKED. I didn't make a judgement either way, and I think you were pretty rude. Re read what you wrote, then read what I wrote. I think you are being a little touchy.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 10:32 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • not bein touchy just more informative.
    Ross2010

    Comment by Ross2010 (original poster) at 10:35 AM on Oct. 4, 2010