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What my husband says offends me but...... adult content

What my husband says offends me, but he is the last person on earth that would ever try to disrespect me. We've been married for 3 years and during sex, he may ask me to suck it (which I don't have a problem with) but when he asks me, I feel so offended. I am even more offended if he pushes my head down towards that area. We talked today, and we both said that we feel uncomfortable saying what we want the other to do to us during sex. We have a great marraige so we want to fix this. Any ideas? We have come to the conclusion that the other is not a mind reader so we really need to get more comfortable with saying sexual things.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:45 PM on Oct. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I understand how you feel. I think it's totally awkward too! You should probably tell him that using that phrase and being more forceful makes you uncomfortable. I think he would be OK if you said hey, could you ask me in a sweet way instead. As for actually asking during instead of saying it maybe take his hands and show him, nicely??
    ajbrownies

    Answer by ajbrownies at 9:48 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Honestly I have the same issue with my partner, he and I just had to slowly talk about what we enjoy. Communication is truly key! A fun way is also to play games, there are a few board games that are enjoyable and helps explore this line of conversation. I wish I could help me. Good Luck! :)
    AugustMidge

    Answer by AugustMidge at 9:48 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • come up with your own term for it. Ive been with my hubby for 7 years( married for three), & Thankfully he doesn't ask me to do that, I just do it on my own. Im not sure how i would feel if he told me to suck it. he might get bit. =) JK.

    Start with simple things to get more comfortable with saying sexually things... It took me awhile to get over being so shy.... To a point I still dont tell him what I want, but show him, & hes the same... (It sometimes really sucks, *no pun meant* when both of us are really effin shy.* Best of luck to you & the hubby.
    lilmoosesmom

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 9:49 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I've been with my DH for 21 years, and he used to talk dirty during sex when we first got together. I finally got him to understand that it was a turn off for me, and it offended me. I seriously thought he was a perv at first, and I came close to leaving. I would try to talk to him at other times (not during sex) and let him know that it would be better to say it differently. Think of a way he could ask for that without sounding offensive to you, and let him know. Also, let him know that you don't want him pushing your head that way. I feel the same way. I think that is demeaning.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:51 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • lol, my hubby does the same thing, i finally told him i am totally confused and weirded out when he pushes my head down. i like a little dirty talk(nothing that makes me feel whorish:)so i told him to say it kindA sexy, like "i love it when u kiss me downthere or somthin, it makes it not feel dirty or weird doing it and i dont get offended
    mayo9mommy

    Answer by mayo9mommy at 10:24 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Just talk about it. Let each other know what you like and don't like in bed. Come to a compromise. If he wants you to give him head, then try and talk about using different wording or signals. Using terms that offend you will definitely keep you out of the mood.

    Just sit and talk about it with each other and come to agreements on what is and isn't acceptable in bed.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 10:14 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

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