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Ex-husband wants more custody. Any advice?

The father of my 3 children all of a sudden wants more custody. I think it's because him and his new wife don't want to pay child support anymore. He already gets them every weekend(Fri night through Sunday). Now he wants them every other week. I think that will disrupt their stability. We have routines. He doesn't. The kids actually say their stepmom takes better care of them than dad does. They come with the same underwear on, their faces are dirty, their teeth are dirty, and they are tired and crabby. They love their dad very much. He tells me that he wants to be more involved with them. I already go above and beyond normal ex-wife duties to keep him informed. And half of the time when I inform him, he bitches me out because it's "weird" to talk to his ex-wife. He says this is the way it will be, whether I like it or not. The arrangements we have are already court-ordered. What should I do?

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My3RaysofSun

Asked by My3RaysofSun at 11:48 AM on Oct. 24, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 4 (36 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Fight it. If they take you to court, then fight it. You're right, your kids need stability and they need it bad. And having them live with him every other week will really disrupt that. I would even go back and just give him custody every other weekend. That's how often my SS see's his mother. And wouldn't you know it, she doesn't care a single bit. Figures.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 11:51 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • Not wanting to pay child support is not enough of a reason. Its not fair to his kids.I thought that unless he had full custody he has to pay anyway. Find out.
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 11:53 AM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • I would contact your lawyer. If your arraignments are court ordered then he can not get them changed unless he goes back to court. I also believe that if the child support was set by the court then he can not get that changed with out going back to court either.

    Don't let him tell you how it is going to be. You have rights and so do your children.

    Good Luck
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 1:00 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • Keep it the same unless you would enjoy the extra time to yourself!
    joannesevern

    Answer by joannesevern at 4:01 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • i have the same problem with my ex hubby he is a wonderful person but a crap hole for a dad. I would tell him NO. Put your foot down and say it is going to be the same way it has been for the past >>>>>>( how ever long it has been). My ex keeps changing his number so i have to talk to his mom and she is something else. I would not let him do that he had the children with you and he should have to pay for each one of them, its like i tell my ex he is either going to be there or he is not i dont care either way as long as i get that check every week. you dont have to be mean about it but you can be very ferm. need anymore advice i am always here
    later
    brandy
    McConnell_mom

    Answer by McConnell_mom at 6:41 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • I feel it's unfair a father has to fight to see there kids,when time is already limited.
    If you feel otherwise, if it's due to a real reason, such as abuse, go through legal channels.
    Think how you would feel.
    Kids need to feel they can depend on both of you without reprocussions/guilt from either side.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:29 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • PS~ Go to family court and you can file a contempt of court or ammend the current order.


    I feel it's unfair a father has to fight to see there kids,when time is already limited.
    If you feel otherwise, if it's due to a real reason, such as abuse, go through legal channels.
    Think how you would feel.
    Kids need to feel they can depend on both of you without reprocussions/guilt from either side.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:31 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • I agree that they need stability and routine. If he lives close enough maybe give him a few weeknights from when they get out of school until 7 or 8pm. This way you can still make sure they are bathed and fed. No, this will not change how much he pays for child support unless you go back to court or he re-evaluates his pay.
    brimarie8

    Answer by brimarie8 at 12:16 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

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