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5 Bumps

Anyone have difficult in-laws? Do you let your children interact with them?

I have a mother-in-law that doesn't think I should have married her son. It has caused a HUGE problem btw the whole family and just recently she has started speaking to us again. She hasn't spoken to us since before we were married, 7 years ago.
Do I let my one and only son spend time with her? Limit time with her? Keep him far far away from boundary-less mother-in-law?


Asked by NkugbaMama at 11:16 PM on Oct. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 6 (113 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Mine aren't N-laws yet but they will be... My partner and I are having a baby girl and he is Ukrainian, from the Ukraine while I am Mexican by decent and raised as such (very old fashion upbringing) they dislike me for so many reasons. We have decided that our little girl will have limited supervised interaction with her grandparents but little to NONE if it can be helped with his Sister!

    Answer by AugustMidge at 11:19 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • I'm so sorry for your family! I haven't had the same experiences with my inlaws so I can't say for sure what I'd do. My gut tells me that I would do everything in my power to allow them an emotionally safe relationship with them. I mean YES limit the times they have together BUT don't allow them to bash you or your husband (probably supervised visitation). You don't want to be the bad guy when your kids grow up and realize that you were the one who didn't allow them a relationship with their grandparents. My guess is that your inlaws will probably not want to have anything to do with the kids if they can't be in control of the situation.

    Answer by shellakers at 12:46 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Yeah, I have difficult ILs. A lot of it comes down to race/culture. Dh and I are different races. They didn't want dh to marry me. They really have never warmed up to me. Dh is really not close to them. He even says they were negligent as parents. At various times they will disagree with us over something and not speak to us... even when we are in their good books months could go by without us hearing from them. That being said, the kids do see them. I don't want to be the bad guy who gets between them and dh and the kids... if I do, I would be fulfilling everything they ever thought about me in the first place. So I make sure to invite them to everything concerning the kids, and take the kids over on the four or so occasions throughout the year that they ask. But I make sure that either dh or I is there when they see the kids, because I don't trust them- they say and do stupid things so I 'supervise' them.

    Answer by Freela at 11:25 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • Yes, my sil. She is always lying to my kids and disappointing them. I mean HUGE lies, too. My kids no longer believe her, they don't tolerate her lies anymore. I don't let them stay the night with her as much as I used to, esp since finding out she talks sh*t about  me to my kids. She came to visit Saturday and she p*ssed me off right off the bat, up until she left I barely spoke to her. I gave her the cold shoulder. She lied to my kids twice and left us stranded at a local fair, all in one day. I was irate at her.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:37 PM on Oct. 3, 2010

  • it has taken 31yrs for mil to like me let alone no i will not be leaving her son any time soon ,just this past july my fil ask to take care of my hubby and our kids ,she never ask the kids come over or spend time with them. know that they are adults they want nothing to do with her ,her lost not ours

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 12:38 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Well if she is really showing a change I would just give it a little bite longer but I don't see why you should let your son around her. I think all my mother in laws (I have two) are scared of me I've shown I'm not just talk if you cross me its over n

    Answer by whoreallycares at 3:32 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • I don't have in-laws like that. But, if she feels that way about you, I would limit her time with your son. Or, cut her off completely. If she wants to spend time with your son, she needs to learn to get over her ill feelings toward you and get over it. She needs to learn that you're going to be a part of her son's life for a LONG time. If she can't get over that then she can't see her grandson.

    Answer by _Tam_ at 9:45 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • I would start with a lil time with the mil. But only if ur there. I have a fil that hates me and I hate him. He only sees the gk's when I'm around. He's always puttin me down as a mother. I tell him where he can shove it.

    Answer by couger108 at 2:32 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Yes! My FIL has never liked me, thinks I'm an awful, awful person for obviously no good reason. I will say he is an alcoholic so he has several issues as it is. But to answer your question, no I do not let my kids be around him, even when he is sober.

    Answer by newmomma14 at 5:56 PM on Oct. 4, 2010