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My husband is trying to recover from a porn addiction. I`m very hurt. How can I get over this? adult content

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:12 AM on Oct. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • become a porn star....
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 1:16 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • My husband looks at porn and it hurts me a lot. Since you wrote that he is getting over it I am assuming he believes he was wrong and is trying to stop. I think that is great that he is trying for you. My husband to this day refuses to think it is wrong. And will never see how much it hurts me. My advice to you is to look at is from his point of view. Porn is SO accessible for men. It is a click away. Not only that but guys send cell phone porn. It is so hard NOT to look. Plus men naturally have much higher sex drives then women. I am not sticking up for him by any means. I am just saying that it is hard for men and it is a huge step for him to admit it and try to stop it. I have asked many times on here to the women about what to do with my man looking at porn and it amazes me how many would not have a problem with their men looking and how dare I to make him want to stop it, no kidding!! Good luck!
    AmyLynn5398

    Answer by AmyLynn5398 at 1:50 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • There is a book called "Every man's Battle". Is he reading it? It was very helpful. You should be hurt and it will take time to share with him how it has hurt you. It takes time and it is slow process.
    KaraMia15

    Answer by KaraMia15 at 2:02 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • – collapse
    you prob. wont be able to, ull just learn how to live wit it...
    VERONICAS_MOM

    Answer by VERONICAS_MOM at 2:13 AM on Oct. 4, 2010 (hidden) + expand

  • it takes time. you guys have to be open and honest with each other
    3xangel

    Answer by 3xangel at 3:54 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • The author of Every Man's Battle also wrote a book with his wife, I don't remember the name of it, but it is exceptional for women who have been hurt by sexual impurities in their marriage.
    TarraJoy

    Answer by TarraJoy at 4:25 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Every Heart Restored is a great book for this situation. I highly recomend it. First off, know that his problems are not your fault. Also, you have every right to be upset, and do not listen to anyone who will tell you otherwise. Allow yourself time to heal, and know that it may only take a month. Or it may take alot longer. You cannot put a time limit on this. Maybe try some counsling for yourself and maybe as a couple.
    RheaF

    Answer by RheaF at 7:42 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • The fact that he is trying to get better, is a great step in the right direction. Just support him in it all. Porn is EVERYWHERE and hard to stay away from. Block it from your computer. It's going to take time but you WILL get over it. Let him know this is something that hurt you very bad and you will be there to support him, but he can't go back, it's just not right.

    Also, guys watch porn because of the act. My husband doesn't watch the stuff and he doesn't need too. Not saying I act like a porn whore, but I dress up and we 'play'..keep it interesting... why would he have to look at something like that, when i keep it "hot" for him? GOOD LUCK
    JuLiAnSmOmMy317

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 8:31 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • The fact that he's recovering and not relapsing is a good thing. It's something a lot of women have to deal with. Be supportive of his recovery and help him to not relapse. This is a good thing. I understand feeling hurt that he was addicted, but you must remember that recovering from ANY addiction is tough; it's only made easier through the love and support of those around him.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 9:19 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • The porn has nothing to do with you. Would your feelings be hurt if he were a drunk, or a drug addict? It's really the same thing. It's easier to think the porn is a replacement for you or he's looking at it because he thinks it's better than you, but the reality is, porn addicts were usually exposed to it at a really young age, or are addicted because they become addicted to the hormone release in the brain.

    That is, if he truly has a porn addiction. This term is woefully overused for men who simply don't agree with their wives aversion to porn, and have no desire to stop looking at it.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 10:31 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

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