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2 Bumps

how to stop my mother aka the grandmother spoiling my kid

Me and my mom been headbutting about her buying everything anything on my kid! every time we go to the store she excepts some kind of toy or something and when i dont have any money to buy thing like that it really makes me feel like crap. and i belive she shouldnt get a new toy a day or every time we go to the store. so i need advice to solve this problam i dont want to b rude and all that soooo? open to hear so advice sorry bout bad spelling it like 12 at night and tired

Answer Question

Asked by tear423 at 1:52 AM on Oct. 4, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 5 (60 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • This is FOR her, your mother. She wants to do it for her.
    It doesn't do the child any good. At all.
    If she wants to *do something* have her try baby-wearing, take infant sign language classes with you, or something...


    Answer by doulala at 2:03 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • That's what grandparents DO. Get off her back and let her have fun.

    Answer by StRita at 2:05 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Tell her how you feel. Regardless of who buts the toys, a child can get spoiled (and become ungrateful) with a constant showering of gifts.

    Answer by art.diva at 2:25 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • How old is the child? I'm sure it will stop or at least slow down eventually.

    Answer by sherribeare at 2:26 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Ask her if, when she was raising YOU, she felt that you should have a toy or treat every time you left the house - and why not.. If need be, remind her (in a sort of joking way) that you were there, too, so you know that she didn't let you have these things... Tell her that she was right in not always giving you something, etc, because it would have spoiled you, and you wouldn't be the person you are today - and that you want the same thing for your dd - that she grow up not spoiled.

    If she says "but it's grandma's right" or anything like that - then you tell her nicely but firmly that you love her, but that you're the MOM - and that MOM'S rules / rights are what goes - not Grandma, and that you are sure that your dd will love her whether she gets something or not - there is no need to buy or bribe her love.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:41 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • cont

    Tell her that you love her, and you love that she obviously loves and has an interest in your dd, her grand daughter - BUT - as a mom, your first priority is to protect your child from bad influences, regardless of how well intentioned or from who, so, if she can't respect your wishes and cut back on this, then you're going to have to cut back on how much time she's allowed around your dd.

    Don't say these things mean or in a nasty way, just explain it to her point blank, in a very calm and respectful way. But remember, in the end, it's your child, you are responsible for her, and, grandmother or not, they don't have the right to second guess or undermine your parenting.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:44 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Its what grandmothers do. It can be a pain sometimes but its harmless.

    Answer by dmelyoung at 9:04 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Im all for spoiling grandmas. My parents spoil my kids and I let them. My kids are learned that I do not spoil because my money goes for other things. Like tuition. Even my 4 year old twins have learned that this is spoiling saved for grandparents.

    Answer by martinmommy26 at 9:22 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

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