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Shoul I end a 10 yr friendship due to husbands controling and insecure behavior?

I love my 3bffs. we planned a trip to sedona for fun and relaxation... 3 of us have never been on vaca without kids and the husband. To make a long story short 1 of the girls was constanly on the phone with hubby letting him know our every move, her kids where crying, he was asking why we where not at our destination, and why are we taking so long to do xyz ( she did not excuse her self when on the phone) this wasn't he first display of his controling behavior. Last year he was upset with he gift that was given to her, he was expecting her to come hoem with 'x' but we decided to buy her something else, something more her style.
For 2 yrs now we've walked on egg shells trying not to upset him on her behalf. He insults all of us infront of coworkers bosses (persoanl info mind you).
I love her like a sister but im tired of walking on egg shells so he will not get angry. I'm so stressed!!! Am I making something out of nothing?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:54 AM on Oct. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Okay there is no way that I can honestly put this nicely.. He is an a**hole. I don't know how she deals with it.. but I am sure she is used to his behavior by now.. but I wouldn't stop being friends with her. Ya'll are probably her only means to sanity other than her kids.
    ajc88

    Answer by ajc88 at 2:17 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Maybe honesty is the best policy in this situation. I would talk to the friend and put things as politely as possible and if that doesn't stop his ignorant behavior then maybe tell him that you didn't marry him and he has no right to say things about you or to you. I've never been in this type of situation so this is my opinion on what I can assume would work..... then again, I'm the joking type so I'd probly make fun of him saying something sly like "Why are you phoning again? scared your wife will start liking women all of a sudden? relax tough guy"!
    Sonnyswife

    Answer by Sonnyswife at 2:18 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Yep just be honest it sucks sorry
    whoreallycares

    Answer by whoreallycares at 3:10 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Um, confront him. Gang up on him, and confront him. Unless you think he would take it out on her. But, if he does, beat his ass. He's a complete asshole.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 8:45 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Talk to him about it. Confront him. If need be, get everyone else in on it. Also tell him that your BOSS doesn't appreciate him doing what does while you're at work. On top of that, have someone watch the kids once a week and go out with your girlfriends; don't even tell him where you're going. If anything, let him know that dinner is leftovers and he can fend for himself. What he's doing is bullshit.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 9:00 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • With an asshole hubby like that, she needs you guys. Just pretend to play it his way. She'll see the err of her ways and it'll be good for to know that if she ever decides to leave him, you are there for her. (In fact that'll make it easier)
    CassyzMom

    Answer by CassyzMom at 9:22 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • I'd have a 'girls meeting' and all of you sit down with her and talk to her about this. Let her know that while you love her and value her friendship and you don't want to loose that-- BUT her husband is being a controlling jerk and his behavior is ruining it for everyone. I'd tell her that you are sick of walking on egg shells and tiptoeing around him. . I would let her know that you are upset that the sedona trip was ruined by his constant phone calls. It was supposed to be a girls time away-- not friend on phone with hubby the whole time. . I would ask that in the future she either #1- tell him NO CALLS and turn her phone off or you will start making plans without her as you are sick and tired of him and his drama taking over. Or #2- she can stay home with him and you will go out and have a drama-free night w/o him!

    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 9:25 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • No you are not making something out of nothing. This is not a good situation but it is up to her how to deal with it. As for you....you should never walk out on a true friend. Real Friends are very hard to come by. Just try your best to talk to her and tell her how you feel about what is going on with her and him. That is her relationship not yours so you don't have to walk on eggshells for him just be there for her. If you need to step back a few paces on her behalf then do so meaning cut back on being together as much but always remind her that you are there just in case she needs you.
    Cheveyo1

    Answer by Cheveyo1 at 12:25 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • You guys are AWESOME! Lots of Great Advice. True friendship is hard to find. I couldn't call myself a friend if I walk away.


     Some day I may need that same friendship. We've decided to get together talk it out and then beat his a**.


    punching

    MaidMom177

    Answer by MaidMom177 at 4:30 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Maid, are you OP? I sure hope so!!! Good luck!
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 6:22 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

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