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My dd, 10 yrs old, wore clean athletic pants, a nice tee shirt and a hoodie to church this morning. Everything was clean, no rips or tears or stains.... adult content

My very critical mother told her she looked "dumpy" and "should never dress so inappropriately for church like that again". Ummm, sceeeuuuuuuuuuze moi? Last time I checked, these are my kids and at our church, this is perfectly fine apparel. I feel she should have just been happy that she didn't have her fav outfit on: hippie jeans - ratty on the bottoms and tears and rips every where with her fav tee shirt that is fraying from so much use!
I want to tell my mother that if the kids clothing or hair is soooooooo inappropriate, then they can have the girls some other time and won't be going to church with them since obviously the whole reason for going is because of what people wear and without any concern for what is going on in the minds and hearts of people. What do you think?


Asked by Babylove76 at 2:44 AM on Oct. 4, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

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Answers (22)
  • Yeah, that's about right. Church is the place for hypocrites who only care how well you're dressed, how much money you tithe, and how much you are volunteering to do for them.

    Answer by witchqueen at 12:33 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Your mother was rude and it was an inappropriate comment.

    Answer by sherribeare at 2:46 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Your mom was pretty rude. The churches I've been to have always been come as you are. My boys come in nice jeans a shirt and a nice hoodie. I don't wear suits or dresses either, I go as I am. Atleast I'm there and that's all that should matter.

    Answer by reigndrops12689 at 5:37 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • OH - lol - I should probably clarify - I don't think there was anything wrong with what your dd was wearing - that's what I was trying to say.

    They should try to be somewhat respectful, wearing something clean and not all ripped up, etc, unless that's all they have. But, you're there to learn about God and worship the Lord - not to make a fashion statement or to be in some sort of best dressed contest.

    Maybe you should gently point out to your mom that as the kids are getting older, yes, there are going to be some fashion choices that aren't going to make a lot of sense to her, but as long as it's not vulgar, it might be best, to maintain a close grandparent / child relationship, if she refrains from making comments to them about it. If she has a problem, she should be talking to you privately...

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:52 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • You know, if your mom has such a problem with the what your daughter wears to church, maybe she should take it up with Jesus. I'm pretty sure He only cares that she's there. There's an old hymn that says "Come as you are, without one plea...."

    In Matthew, Jesus told Peter and Andrew fishing and called them to come and follow him, and he would make them fishers of men. He instructed them to follow immediately, to not return home, to not change their clothes, to not stop to say goodbye. If He was such a stickler for appearance, I'm sure he would have told them both to go put on a suit jacket before they go worshiping Him.

    Sorry, but your mom is out of line. My pastor wears polo shirts and khakis on Sunday morning, and he loves the Lord with all his heart. God does not care what we wear, it's the people that do.

    Answer by charliebean at 3:20 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • My FIL is the same way. Brags about how Christian he is and how he gave all this money to this one church and they named a wing after them, etc.... But his favorite word is n***er and every other word out of his mouth is f*ck and everyone is a f*ggot. It's disgusting.

    I heard someone say once that "to some people, you are the only Bible they will ever read", meaning that if your mom was the only Christian I had ever met, I would definitely make sure to steer clear of such a religion! Catholics believe that your actions and good deeds are what gets you into Heaven. I'm not Catholic, but I do believe that the way we live our lives is very important, especially when we are supposed to be testaments of Jesus' love and kindness.

    Answer by charliebean at 3:51 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Tell your mother that when people went to hear Jesus's sermon on the mount they didn't wear their "sunday best" and that you are proud of your children for going to church and if what they wear is so important then the kids can go with you to church from now on because last time you checked the bible said "judge not lest ye be judged"

    Answer by BigfordBrat at 6:26 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • As long as that was socially accepted dress for your church, I don't see the problem with it. You could tell her to let you dress your own kids or she just doesn't need to come to church with u

    Answer by Butterflysky_24 at 5:54 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • When I was growing up, my church had a saying "We don't care what you come in, as long as you come in."

    Now, I don't let my kids wear their dirty or ripped up or ratty clothes, because they do have other, more appropriate, clothes, and I do think there's an element of respect. BUT - I wouldn't judge someone else who was dressed like that or dressed casually - for all I know, that's all they have, or maybe they have something going on right after church that they don't have time to change for, etc (like, we've worn shorts to church when we were due at a beach party for my dh's work right afterward...)

    lol - Though I do remember a time recently that I made my teenage ds mad - he was wanting to wear jeans that were very borderline too beat up to wear to church, when he was going to come home and change into slacks to go to work. I was like - if you can wear slacks to work, you can wear them to church first... :-)

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:49 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • sailorwifenmom - thanks for your input and I agree with you 100%. I have tried talking to my mom as you suggested and she won't even budge. I am considering telling her that them taking my children to church is not working out as obviously my children cannot be accepted for who and what they are - they are not being outrageous kids, so I really don't think that any comment was necessary. (whatever happened to "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"?)
    The court order does not state that they have to go to them on Sundays or to church - just that they are to go for 2 days. I have already decided that there will be no overnights as my parents both have been outrageous about my kids and their sleeping schedule. We home school and our schedule is to stay up late (10pm) and sleep late (8 or 9 am) but my parents treat them like they are 5 yr olds and put them to bed at 7pm and get them up at 6am! UGH!

    Comment by Babylove76 (original poster) at 3:03 AM on Oct. 4, 2010