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What would you do if your husband was secretly looking at porn?

My husband and I enjoy watching porn together every once in a while but own no movies or anything. The only thing that I have ever said about it is that I do not want him to keep it from me. About two years ago I found that he was getting up in the middle of the night to look up porn on the internet. It upset me because during this time we were not having sex often, not because I didn't want to but because I could tell he wasn't really interested in me. After I found out I told him that I didn't mind him looking at porn but I did not want it to effect our sex life. Things have been great until the past few months, and today I found that he's looking at porn again. We have an open relationship so why does he think that he has to hide this and if he has a wife willing to have sex with him why does he replace her with porn?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:10 PM on Oct. 24, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • It's almost as though he sees you in the role of "mom" and he is doing something on the sly trying not to get caught. If at all possible, try and have an open and honest conversation on why he is wanting to do this. Is it the fear of getting caught that makes it more pleasurable? Let him know you know what he is doing but try not to get angry about it. Ask as a partner trying to understand. See where it goes from there.

    By the way, it really isn't about the porn. It is masturbation done in secret. Like a 13 year old not wanting to get caught.

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 5:39 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • Sounds like he has a real problem if hes actually getting up in the middle of the night for it. You guys really need to talk. He may even need help for it. Id be upset to. But i also would never condone it let alone watch it with him!! lol Looks like you might have started something that you can fix. I would get on the computer and change all of the passwords so that he cant get on. GL :(

    Answer by Steph319 at 1:14 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • ** can't fix

    Answer by Steph319 at 1:15 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • i felt like this with my SO i hated the fact that he had to had this from me. So i told him one day that it makes me upset that he has to hide it all the time and that i am not dumb i know everytime he looks at it and it makes me sick to my stomach and i had called him a perv for doing that. Now i am okay with him looking at it i dont know what came over me but i am glad i dont get mad over that and he does not hide it anymore.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:15 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • I would say if you know that he is doing in the middle of the night when you feel him get out of the bed go where he is and be like I wanna see to maybe he see some thing he likes or they are doing something yall are not doing ask him if he wants to try anything new

    Answer by moviestartaal at 1:19 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • We have great sex and are very open with each other and what we want in the bedroom. I am the only person he has ever had sex with and I am not sure if that has anything to do with it. This last time he looked at it was in the morning (at 5:30am) after I had left to go and take care of my grandmother (it was also our daughter's birthday).

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:25 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • Boys are boys. Why do they do ANYTHING they do?

    Answer by SexxyMomma26 at 1:26 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • My hubby would hide to, i never talked about it to him but he gotten the hit that i know what he does. but 1 night i took his porn and put it by my side of the bed when i felt he was getting up i just grab the porn mag and put it right on the bed and i would tell him lets look at it as a couple and not play hide n seek with mags, witch now he feels comfortable he wasn't and he thought i would be headstrong but i just fig it just pics they don't have addresses or numbers

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:30 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • well i am kind of in the same boat i dont care if we watch it together either but for like 1 yr now my husband is looking on line he has lost intrest in me too because of the porn i dont want to tell him i know he is doing it so i just let him if that is his choice well then so be it i am sorry but when he does want to have sex just turn him down and tell him to go watch porn he will feel bad and probly stop this i did it last week and my hubby is not looking on line anymore

    Answer by katrina2girls at 1:43 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • My husband does the same. Every man I've ever known watches porn.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:54 PM on Oct. 24, 2008