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realy need advice, pls

im a sahm, i have 2 kids and a sd, df&i were doing good, now last Dec i had left him because for some reason he just became lazy, calling in work just because he had headaches, it came to the point to where he was only bringing in like $300 every two weeks , so i left him, he begged n did change n i came back, now this week he called in because of a tooth ache& told me he was using his vacation time, now this morn he tells me we are paying the rent late n our cells just got turned off, he didnt use his vaca cuz he didnt have any, he sd he only brought in under$200,i told him i was leaving becausei do so much for him and our family at home, its not fair for my kids n i, now i dnt have anywhere to go , should i stay n hold things in n see if they get better next paycheck, i tried looking up shelter homes but u have to be physically abused cont..

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:41 AM on Oct. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • to stay there, i hate it, idk why the hell he did this, i mean he has a fam to take care of, wth was he thinking, i can get a job a mcdonalds or anywhere for the mean time, i will & can do that for my kids, ive done it b4& was able to make it on my own before, i just dnt have anywhere to go this time, i cant even call my mother or sis because our cell are off, pls any advice n no bashing pls

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:44 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • You need to get a job and get out of there. You can get the kids on child care assistance to help with the day care and move on with your life. If he is not wiling to change now. He never will.......Good luck!

    Answer by gogogirl79 at 10:48 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • You went somewhere the first time, why can't you go back there?
    You can go to a payphone, use a neighbor's phone, etc. You have options, you can use them to find yourself a place to live.
    Don't stay just for convenience, it's not fair to anyone involved.
    He's clearly not wanting to support his family, so if you want out then find a way out.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:50 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Yep, time to leave, find a phone and call someone to help you. You'll need a phone to get a job anyway. Clearly he is either to selfish or too imature to take care of his family. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this, good luck!

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:55 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • my mother did have an extra room , but now she is renting it to my lil brother n his gf, i was thinking about going to my grandmothers but everyone will know my business, im going to ask my mom to go back w/her, i was thinking i can sleep in the living room n my boys can sleep in her bed w/her, im just so upset, i clean our home , wash clothes, cook goodmeals, i take our kids to n from school just so they wont ride the bus n he cant even pay our rent, we dont even have car payments our cell phones bill is only $70,he has a full time job n there is no reason for this, i just cant believe he would do this, thank u guys for the advice

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:57 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Dear I totally agree with the other ladies. You need to move on. He will not change and you can't wait until you and your children are put in the street. There are agencies that will help other than abuse you just need to do some searching. Move out as soon as you can and find a way to generate at least some income until you can do better. We must learn to crawl before we can walk. Good luck

    Answer by Cheveyo1 at 11:30 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • I agree that he probably won't change and you need to leave.But there is some accountability on your part here. A responsibilty to your children making sure they have what they need. When my hubby isn't bringing it in, I work more hours, later in the night. Regardless of why the money isn't there. I don't see how someone can just sit there knowing he isn't working and wait for it to get that bad! You are just as accountable as him. Don't let it happen again no matter what.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 11:42 AM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Oh wow, you need to leave now! Sounds like he will tell you what you want to hear and then is back to his old ways!

    Answer by kamsmommy17 at 12:25 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • its not that i was waiting for things to get bad, he was lying to me, telling me that he was using his vacation time when he knew he didnt have any, if i would of known that, then i would of said something right away, when i decided to become a sahm that was because we both had decided that it was best for the family. i mean i understand what u are saying because yes i do feel like shit, i would never try to put my kids through what he is putting us through.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:18 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

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