Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

How do i explain to my 2 1/2yr old that her dad and i are separating?

My husband and i have more than likely splitting up, we've tried to work it out and thats not working...he is not open at all to the idea of counseling and i don't know what else to do. I'm scared about leaving because right now we own a business that is in his name, all our money is in an account with only his name and our house is also in his name...but even above all that i'm so worried about my girls, i have 2, one 4 months and one 2 1/2yr. obviously its the older one i'm worried about. How do i explain it to her, what do i say when she wants him and he's not around??? we haven't really discussed custody issues yet but he works from 8am to 7pm mon-fri and 1pm-7pm sat & 8am-4pm sun so he probably won't see them very often. right now i bring them up to the store we own and we spend all day together so i don't know how she'll adjust....any advice on anything would be greatly appreciated! thanks!

Answer Question

Asked by mommafugate at 2:37 PM on Oct. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (11 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Well, it's difficult to explain this to a 2 year old, my son was also 2 1/2 when his dad and I split up. I just told him that Daddy had a new house, and Mommy had the old house, and he would visit Daddy at his new house. It really didn't seem to bother him that much. He's 29 now, and he says he doesn't even remember his dad and I ever living together.

    As for the financial issues. SEE AN ATTORNEY NOW! And, I mean now. Even if you think you can't afford one. You can't afford not to have one, and the odds are he will have to pay your attorney. No matter how much you trust him, he will be getting advice from friends and family, and things will change quickly. Also, for some reason it seems like the person who files first has better results (if there can be better results) in the divorce.

    Good luck, I know that what you're going through now is difficult, but you'll be okay.

    Answer by ohwrite at 2:44 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Get some legal help for sure. You want to make sure your 50% of all your assets is protected. A friend of mine just separated from her husband. She told her daughter that mommy and daddy would not be living together any more but they both loved her very much. She had her get involved with picking out new things for their apartment and a new bed, etc. Talk things over with your husband so he visits with your children. It will be so important. I wish you all the best.

    Answer by elizabr at 2:45 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • At first especially, I would let her know that she can go see him whenever she wants to (discuss this with him, of course) and when she really wants to see him, I would take her to see him. Just bc you two aren't together doesn't mean you can't take his daughters to see him. Just cut back on the time spent there and keep the babies busy with other fun things, like going to the park or other activities. Good luck to you and your family. God bless.

    Answer by Kword at 2:45 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • I do not think you need to say anything. He is to young to understand. About all I would say is Daddy does not live here any more.

    Answer by louise2 at 2:56 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • My 2 were 3 and 2 and I moved with them and all I told them was Daddy is staying in this house and we were moving to a new home just us. They never asked where he was or why he wasn't there and they are 7 and 6 now and the youngest doesn't remember living together as a "family" and the only thing my oldest will say is remember when we were all at Daddy's house and he would yell at you I'm glad we moved.

    Answer by rlambert at 6:09 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.