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2 Bumps

Why does she always rain on my freakin parade? How do you deal with people like that?

Unfortunately I'm talking about my mom. Something very excited is happening tomorrow, something me, my husband and my kids have been dealing with for a year and a half might be going away or getting better tomorrow. Well she was quick to throw her two cents in and I get that she is entitled to her opinion. Then she has the audacity to turn it around on me for telling her that she "doesn't care". I'd rather not give specifics because it's very personal. Just why does she always have to do this to me? Make me feel bad about something good! And how can I get her to STOP?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:45 PM on Oct. 4, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • First let me say this.. Congrats on whatever it is you are so looking forward to.

    With that said.

    Your mother, and anyone else in this world. Can only rain on your parade if you allow them to. She and anyone else in this world can only make you feel as bad as you allow them to.

    Let whatever she says, roll off you like water off of a ducks back.. She's free to say whatever she wants. You're right about that. Howver. You don't have to listen. You don't have to give anything she says a second thought, if you don't want to.

    You can not make her stop. She and only she can make that choice. All you can do , all you have control over, is how you react/respond to her. So, instead of beating your head against a wall in order to TRY and change her, or make her want to change. Actually do what you do have control over. Change the way you respond/react to her.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 2:54 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • I know it seems difficult to do, but try not to let it bother you. Ignore her comments and maybe she will realize that it's not getting to you and she will stop. Or maybe she really loves you and she doesn't approve of the situation and you should talk to her about how her comments make you feel. Without knowing the situation it's very difficult to know what advice to give, but whatever you do, good luck to you and congratulations on what you are excited about!
    Kword

    Answer by Kword at 2:50 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Without knowing the situation, it's hard to say. My mom does this to me, and I catch myself doing it to my son. When I do it, it's out of concern, and sometimes fear that he may not see the whole picture. I try to stop myself, depending on the issue, because I know my own mother is never happy about anything I do, no matter what it is, and that's not how I feel for me son.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 2:49 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Some people always go for that half filled glass, there is no changing that!
    older

    Answer by older at 2:52 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Don't invite her to your parade. My mom is like this too. I can't share my trials with her or she takes them on to herself and freaks out and worries about it, and even if I share my good things with her she finds a way to worry about those too. Sigh. I just steel myself up for her reaction before I tell her something.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 2:53 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • I know exactly how you feel.
    If possible, I would suggest that you keep your personal business to yourself and don't tell your mom what you're going through. I would just rely on your husband to lend an ear when you need it or your close girlfriends. It's sad but sometimes that's just the way it is.
    Moving forward this this situation, if possible just keep your distance and if you mom asks why you've been distant, just tell her you have been busy getting everything in order.
    SweetSmeek

    Answer by SweetSmeek at 2:53 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • My mother used to be like this with me. And I'm sorry yours acts like this too. My mom, fortunately, changed when my DD was born. We are now best friends. But, in your case, try not to let her get to you. When she says something, just smile at her and say "Well that is an intetesting way to look at it." Good luck!
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 3:22 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • She may be jealous of your situation. Maybe she's not entirely happy with how her life is going so wants to rain on your parade.
    SDMama77

    Answer by SDMama77 at 3:25 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Were you talking to my mom? lol!

    My mom does the same thing to me. I try to limit what I tell her about these kinds of situations. When I slip and tell her something... I kick myself.

    I think she has good intentions but.. .she just always seems to see the negative side of my positive news. Or she will badger me to death when I am struggling with something. Some examples of these issues have been my boyfriend she didn't like and felt like she had to keep telling me, when I was job hunting and having a hard time how I was 'not trying hard enough'. I know she thinks she is helping me... but she is making me crazy.
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 3:38 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

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