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2 Bumps

Explaining divorce to children.

I have a 5 and 7 yo. How do we explain to them what's happening? We will remain friends but this is so hard.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on Oct. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Just explain to them in a very 5 and 7yrs old understanding that momma and daddy are just not gonna live together and that sometimes people have to do what is best for there and themselves. But reassure them that you and daddy love them very much. You two as parents know your children the best so you know what they will understand and what you have to say to them.

    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 3:09 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Just explain that mommy and daddy together are not happy, that sometimes grown ups get along better when they do not live together, and make sure you emphasize that your love or daddy's love will never change because of that. Also explain that they will be seeing daddy off and on, not on a daily basis. It is not an easy thing to do, but it is always better to have two happy parents that are not together than two unhappy ones staying to avoid this for the kids.
    older

    Answer by older at 3:11 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • I wish my parents explained it to me. My mom told me she and dad were divorcing when I was in the backyard playing (I was I think 8 years old). She asked how I felt, I said "ok!" then she walked back inside. Nothing else came out of that. I didnt know what a divorce was. Dad didnt even say anything. He was packed and gone the next day when I came home from school. My childhood was very hard after that. Tell your children you and their dad still love them very much and that will never change. You and their dad still "love" each other and will always be friends, but you need to live in different houses. I dont think explaining the why's would be a good idea at those young ages unless they ask you first. If your kids have any friends with divorced parents you could ask them how they talked to their children about it?
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 3:19 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Just explain to them that mommy and daddy will be apart but it doesn't mean they are loved any less.
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 3:26 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Just explain it the best you can without involving them in the adult issues. My parents divorced when I was 7 and there was no explanation, no nothing. My parents also used me as a messenger rather than communicating themselves, that was tough. AND my dad loved to place all the blame on my mom, so much so that he had me hating my mom up until I was 17/18. My mom is now my best friend and I haven't talked to my dad in 5 yrs.

    My son was almost 3 when his dad and I split. It was tough to explain at that age. He's 6 now and still trys to get us back together. I have to explain to him that I will always love him and his daddy. His daddy gave me the most precious gift I've ever been given and I will always love him for that, but we just couldn't live together anymore.
    travzmom

    Answer by travzmom at 10:11 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

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