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Same question on judging others....( with more detail )

I have a friend who was my BFF in HS. ( that was 20 yrs ago ) Anyway, we lost touch about 10 yrs ago and then found each other on facebook. 10 yrs ago she was HAPPILY married. Now she is UNHAPPILY divorced. When I said I was sorry it didn't work out and I asked if they had tried counselling she took it as I was judging her and freaked out on me. I so wasn't judging her and wonder why ppl accuse others of that for just asking a simple question...

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1lilgirl

Asked by 1lilgirl at 3:08 PM on Oct. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,351 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I AM SORRY THAT HAPPENED. i DON'T KNOW WHY SHE WOULD FREAK OUT LIKE THAT! IT SOUNDS TO ME THAT YOU WERE JUST BEING A FRIEND.
    gertie41

    Answer by gertie41 at 3:10 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • She's probably just upset and snippy about the situation.. I wouldn't take it personally.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 3:12 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • She is probably still over sensitive about it and has felt judged by others prior to you question. I wouldnt let it get to you.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 3:14 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Touchy subject, I wouldn't read too much into her reaction, a lot of people think of divorce as a failure.
    older

    Answer by older at 3:14 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • I wouldn't take it to heart. She just sounds like she is going though a hard time right now. You did say she was unhappily divorced. Maybe she is suffering with depression.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 3:14 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • My guess, she is sensitive about it. She probably has recieved alot of judgement about it from others. Just apologize and restate your support and love for her. If she is your friend she will get over it.
    FuzNet

    Answer by FuzNet at 3:15 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • If she is unhappy that she got the divorce, she may have some guilt over not going to counseling, or maybe she wanted to go and her husband didn't and it's just a sensitive subject. It doesn't sound like you said or did anything you shouldn't. I'd just tell her you really didn't mean to be judgmental, you really care, and your sorry that what you said came out that way.

    Good Luck!
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 3:25 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Its probably still a HUGE sore spot for her.
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 3:26 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • I'm sure it was a sore subject and I get that now, but bc of that we are no longer fiends...(ouch) Now she gets on facebook and tell everyone how I shouldn't judge ppl. So I was wondering how do you stop ppl from thinking you are judging them in that case?
    1lilgirl

    Comment by 1lilgirl (original poster) at 3:36 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

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