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how do you curve a childs aggressive behavior?

My daughter is three and a half, and very physcially aggressive. She does not seem to understand she can not hit other kids, spit at them, or outright assault other children. She is given time outs, she is spoken to, and questioned about her behaivor. I have taken her away from other children for her behaivor, but nothing is working. I have spoken to her school, and I have gotten nowhere! I know she needs interaction with other children, but its so hard when all she wants to do it abuse them! there is no hitting or fighting in my house, so i have no idea where she is learning it!!!


Asked by icn_mom at 4:10 PM on Oct. 4, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 13 (939 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Young children are ALLLLL about imitation.
    If she picked up this behavior, she witnessed it somewhere - or was the victim of it. School is the obvious culprit

    A three year old does NOT "need" interaction with other children, especially not other children her age. I'm a pre-school teacher. The age of 5 is the earliest that it is natural for children to play interactively. Before then, they may manage to play alongside others if given a lot of leading by the adult playing WITH them. But mostly, children that age are working on brain and coordination development; the imaginative cooperative play is not yet available to them.

    Remember ! It was only a few years ago that children younger than 6 were allowed to have peaceful lives in the presence of their mothers, at home. Pre-school is extremely stressful for children younger than 6.

    Give your daughter a rest from the over-stimulation, she is probably very high-functioning

    Answer by waldorfmom at 4:22 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Sometimes finding out what's behind it seems to do the trick for me.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 4:20 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Sorry mommy *hugs* are you or her father like this at all? Our son is the extreme opposite. he's so timid and scared around other kids he runs if they come close to him, we've brought him out since he was a baby and joined classes and parks for social interaction and we think its just genetics at this point. Me and my husband were painfully shy and have anxiety issues - we never let this show in front of him but it could be just how she is..

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 4:19 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Exactly what "waldorfmom" said. She said it well too!

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 4:53 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • have you considered acupuncture?
    I've got a family member that was having trouble with aggression, and he started with acupuncture and Chinese medicine, and he's not even the same person!

    I'm sorry this is happening, but I would look into acupuncture as soon as you can.
    keep in mind, the 'needles' used are nothing like medical or sewing needles. Even if they didn't do actual acupuncture, there are other things they can do to help. Like pressure points and the like.

    good luck!

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 4:24 PM on Oct. 4, 2010