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2 Bumps

Is your SO financially secure... Is that important to you?

Would you settle for someone who could not take care of you because you loved them? I'm talkin' no job, no car, no future... but you love being with them and loved them as a person... would you stay with someone like that?

Answer Question
 
VanessaMomof2

Asked by VanessaMomof2 at 4:35 PM on Oct. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,657 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • I was there. I left. Not because he didn't have anything, but because he didn't WANT anything. Didn't want to work, didn't want to contribute financially, and left me to bring in the money and maintain the household. Loving someone and having nothing is one thing, but love alone does pull their share.
    MomNtheRes

    Answer by MomNtheRes at 4:39 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • When I was younger I would want to be with that person because I would think "it will be OK....love conquers all". Now I would say it won't work and we both have to contribute to the relationship/marriage and work together for financial security and having a decent life.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 4:40 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • my husband didn't come into our marriage with a lot of money but he had a job a car and he wants to work and earn more. i would never want to be the one to support another and have them take advantage of me. love alone just isn't enough.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 4:43 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • SO brings home enough to pay our bills and thats good enough for me! I wouldnt say we are "secure"...hard to say that in this ecomony. But we get by!
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 4:43 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • I have been there too...and of course left...If he felt as strongly about me as I did him he would have wanted to do something to help me and make my life easier. When I married my husband he worked ,had a car, and a place to live but couldnt support us on his own, I respected that and worked too because I knew he would do whatever he could to make it better. I am now a stay at home mom because he works his butt off so I can be.
    foxracing43701

    Answer by foxracing43701 at 4:43 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Frankly speaking.

    No. I wouldn't be with my husband if he were like that. I do not and did not expect him to make enough money to keep me in some lavish lifestyle, or even be able to support me to the point that I don't have to work if I don't want to (I'm just very lucky that is the case.. lol).

    However. I would not be with him if he were completely unable to even suppport himself, much less contribute to the support of a family.

    Cars.. I don't care about. I haven't owned one in over 20 years, and won't ever own another one if I have my way.. I don't own a home, and I never will.. I have never had any need or desire for home ownership..

    However. I do like to eat, I do like a roof over my head, and I do like to live my life with as little pressure and stress as I can possible get away with. Being married to someone who is unemployable with no future, and who is unable to contribute, would not equal that.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 4:45 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • When I met my DH, he was barely making min. wage, had no car, no license, lived with his sister and could pack everything he owned in to two WalMart Bags... I married him anyways... And wouldn't change any of it!
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 4:48 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • I don't think I could love someone who doesn't have a desire to achieve.
    Candi1024

    Answer by Candi1024 at 4:51 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • There is a difference between UNABLE to work and UNWILLING to work.

    I would not be with someone who was UNWILLING to work. I believe that a relationship is a partnership and for a partnership to sustain everyone has to be contributing and doing their best. If that means both people work, then both work. If one can be a SAH parent ... then that works too. But I would not be in a relationship with someone who is just lazy and/or unreliable. To me that would mean that they don't care enough about me or themselves to put forth effort to have a succesful life. If someone is willing to work to improve their situation.... I would date them.

    Someone who is not ABLE to work.... well that would depend on the circumstances. If my husband got sick and was not able to work, I would of course stay with him. But if I were single ... I probably would not choose to date them.

    IMO, love can not make up for everything
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 5:23 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Love does not pay the bills! Took me awhile to learn this. I can care for myself but I remarried this last time for love AND security. You can have both.
    lillie70

    Answer by lillie70 at 5:32 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

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