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2 years and outta love

I dont think i'm in love my SO anymore.. almost 2 years. he does everything "right"-- today was breakfast in bed with a dozen roses... but when i kiss him, there's no sparks. when we have sex/make love, its like i'm being violated. =(

how do i fix it? i love him dearly. i want him- want to grow old with him, but its like we have no connection. we have a soon to be 5 year old and no babysitter (no fam to rely on either), so we cant do date nights... no counseling... i am depressed and have to go to the doctors- i feel as if maybe thats affecting my "connection" with my SO...?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:07 PM on Oct. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Depression effects your relationship with everyone and everything! Don't give up until you get help.

    bjojola

    Answer by bjojola at 6:11 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Depression can make you feel like that. You can get meds from your primary physician. Tell him/her what's going on. Go to your town's high school and see if you can find someone to babysit on occasion. GL I hope things get better soon for you!
    JGRIMMER

    Answer by JGRIMMER at 6:12 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • love isn't something you feel it is something you do. It is being kind and respectful and treating others well. Feelings come after the action. Our society thinks it is the other way around and that is how ppl fall out of love. Feelings are like gas, they pass. Real Love is built over time.
    If it is depression get help for it. That has to do with you and not him. Everyone gets depressed, if you can't get out of it get help. Lots of ppl go thru it. And you won't feel better about any part of life unless you get help for your depression.
    KaraMia15

    Answer by KaraMia15 at 6:16 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • I agree. You need to get help for yourself before you can fix your relationship. Good Luck.
    Cindy18

    Answer by Cindy18 at 6:18 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • in my opinion u have gotten out of that "idealized in love" phase. love is work. to keep it in a relationship, u cant go about acting like u did when u first got married. i will suggest 2 books for u to read. 1.) Love Dare (the movie fireproof is based on the book) 2.) The Five Love Languages
    i dont kno either authors off the top of my head, and both of mine are lent out atm. but if u do what they suggest it will help.
    good luck
    Phippsandrea

    Answer by Phippsandrea at 6:22 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • The Five Love Languages is by Gary Chapman it is a great book. You do need to discuss the depression with your dr. You can also plan at home dates after your dd is in bed. I have 4 kids and no baby sitter as well so we have special adults only dinners, movie nights, game nights, some nights even just cleaning dishes together while talking helps.
    rlambert

    Answer by rlambert at 6:32 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

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