Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

going through a divorce. want sole custody while he gets them on weekends . he wants them 1 week and me the next. not stable for the kids?????

can anyone help me decide what is best for my 2 children in a divorce settlement regarding custody???


Asked by Anonymous at 6:36 PM on Oct. 4, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • And even before you answer that, what is absolutely best for the children is that you guys get along, love them more than you hate eachother, make it work, don't use them against eachother, know that having their mom AND their dad in their lives regularly is what is best. I grew up in a divorced home, my parent's remained very friendly, I saw my dad all the time, even my stepdad and father were friendly. I never once heard the words "child support" or "custody" or "visitation" ever. I was so lucky. I married a man whose ex-wife HATES him and it has really screwed up my stepson.

    Answer by gramsmom at 6:58 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Unless you guys live nearby how is that even possible for their schooling?

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 6:46 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • I have a friend who does it this way. It actually workss out wonderfully. I think it's a very stable way to do things. Do you think the kids going to their dads for only 2 nights is more stable? You should consider it. How old are they? If they are real young, it might not be a good idea. But if they are over 5, i think it would work out. You'll have some alone time too, to do things you like. I think 1 week on 1 week off is a good option. You should consider it.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 6:48 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Yes, I know a family who does something very similar. The father bought a house on the same street as the mom. . Very amicable split up and kids are doing very well.

    Answer by elizabr at 6:54 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • How old are the kids and where does he live?

    Answer by gramsmom at 6:55 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • It technically seems very fair and lets both parents spend an equal amount of time for the little ones. I think this actually might be more stable then the every weekend or every other weekend option. Your soon to be ex must love his little ones quite a bit. Just be thankful that he wants to be in the picture.

    Answer by Melbornj at 1:32 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I know several parents that switch weeks with their parents, it works well if they live relatively close, and is ideal if they live in the same school district. More common in our area is 50/50; every other weekend and a few overnights during the week.

    Answer by Scuba at 10:15 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I know a few as well that have a similar arrangement whivh works well for the kids.

    Answer by LittleD96 at 11:42 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • If you live close to each other and it is feasible for school, then it could be workable? Otherwise a weekend and holiday arrangement would probably work best.

    Answer by KTMOM at 11:26 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Totally agree with gramsmom! If you guys are working together for what's best for the kids that's the most important thing! I know it's not easy right now, but be sooooooo grateful that he wants that arrangement. He's their father and they will benefit from his presence in their life.

    Answer by mellonhead at 9:28 AM on Oct. 6, 2010