Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

changing a child's name after adoption-

I hear of people who adopt from other countries then give their kids 'american names'
why? if they already have a name, why change it?

I'm not talking about babies, I mean kids as old as 9 in some cases.
what do you think?

 
ItsMe89

Asked by ItsMe89 at 7:52 PM on Oct. 4, 2010 in Adoption

Level 25 (23,130 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I thin that is silly. I was adopted @ 13 months and my parents renamed me. My birth name was Kelly. My Mom told me I asked where Kelly was all the time. She felt horrible that she changed it. I changed my DS's name but I adopted him @ a week old. This sadi ti went from Jack to Jackson
    coolchic320

    Answer by coolchic320 at 3:10 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Anon- that is true, however, in this section, there are a ton of people that have NO ties at all to the triad and they "express" their opinions when they have no knowledge of the subject matter and look foolish and make asinine comments. They are also very judgmental of those of us that have walked the road, so to speak.
    mcginnisc

    Answer by mcginnisc at 10:27 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • I do not think a kid over 4 or 5 should have his or her first name changed. Because they start remembering things. Befor then I think it is ok to change their whole name.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:02 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • The idea is that it helps the child assimilate, and not feel so different. (This is assuming the child is adopted internationally, it doesn't exactly hold for a John or a Sarah adopted through US foster care.) I think there is so much we develop around our names, especially as kids, that it isn't fair to the child. Especially if the child is, for example, the only person of color in his or her area, allow them as many cultural ties as possible. Then again, I also refused to change my name when we got married, so I'm the last one who will support the idea of changing a person's name. :)
    TwoBrownDogs

    Answer by TwoBrownDogs at 9:11 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • We are in the final stages of foster adoption and have had all 3 children since birth and broke the rules heavily by giving names and using them before the end of our journey. Of course it is all working out in our favor. The reason we changed their names: We had 2 boys with the same first name!!! And a girl with a really bad first and middle name. There was no getting around it! When we go to the dr and have therapy appts we all get confused on who we are talking about as they are still using birth names until everything is finalized.


    I know this doesn't pertain to the age group specified in the original question, but there are some names given from birth parents not in their right state of mind and some children dream of what names they would like to have and get their wishes granted on adoption day. :)

    love2snorkel70

    Answer by love2snorkel70 at 1:11 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I think it would be very confusing for a child, even a two year old, to have their name changed. They should leave it alone.
    sunshineemommy

    Answer by sunshineemommy at 8:07 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • My son chose to have his name changed when he was 5. His name was Denver, we asked him if he would like to change his name and he said yes. He liked my husband's friend's name, Carson. We kept his middle name, Alexander because everyone called him Alex anyways. So, he is Carson Alexander...
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 8:08 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • i think it would be to confusing
    alexis_06

    Answer by alexis_06 at 8:09 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Most a-parents don't change an older child's name unless the child requests it... and honestly, it's nobody else's business why anyone does anything in regards to their family unless abuse is involved.

    My daughter Lilly was adopted from China at the age of 17 months. She was given a generic name from her orphanage director and all the other children had a part of that name as well. There was nothing special about it or anything that was from her first family... her name was Gang (pronounced gong) Xiamiao ( pronounced she-ah- meow). Gang was the surname given as that is the city of her birth... Xiamiao means " summer sprout".
    If her name had held any ties at all to her first family or had special meaning instead of something that nobody put any thought into, we would have kept it. However, we changed her name to Lillian Lin. She is named after 3 of her Grandmothers. She knows her Chinese name and at 3 weeks shy of 5 yrs old
    mcginnisc

    Answer by mcginnisc at 10:00 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • has stated that she is glad that we gave her a Western name. It is easier to assimilate into the family if they have a Western name...most adoptees that are internationally adopted and have Western names feel this way. It also makes it easier for people to pronounce their names when they start school.

    mcginnisc

    Answer by mcginnisc at 10:02 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN