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Anybody care to explain to me how polygamy is NOT patriarchal and one-sided?

The women get part of a husband, because he is splitting his time amongst many wives, but he gets multiple wives... he can sleep with multiple women, but they can't go outside the marriage to have their sexual needs met (and you can't tell me that most men could satisfy 3 4 5 women lol), and they can't bring in other men. Why can men marry multiple women, but women are forbidden from marrying multiple men, or even from falling in love and having sexual relationships with their other wives?

It seems very convenient for the men, and very inconvenient for the women. I think it would be fine if the women could interact as a unit, as partners, as lovers instead of living separate lives.

I get kind of outraged for these women. Anyone have another perspective to offer me here?


Asked by Ati_13 at 8:18 PM on Oct. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Level 24 (21,184 Credits)
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Answers (8)
  • I LOVE LOVE LOVE the show Big Love (it's on HBO and it's about polygamy) Watch that show, if this interest you.

    It's the same thing though, a man sleeps will millions of chicks-he's a pimp. A female does it and she a ho!

    Answer by Chell.o_0 at 8:23 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • as long as its not FORCED, i see no problem..the women choose this life.

    Answer by dullscissors at 8:25 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Woman can do it too.. its just more rare.. But im sure you are refering to sister wives..
    For that i will say.... They all knew beforehand & CHOSE this life... If the hubby would not have wanted the life- they would have searched else where. If you watch the show it is his first wifes dad that got him into understanding the lifestyle. The 3rd wife says she always wanted to be a 3rd wife- not the first. or the 2nd. but specifically a 3rd.. The 4th wife- her1st marriage was also poly-but didnt last long enough to get a 2nd wife.
    Imagine always having a babysitter for your kid, and they were always safe at home. If u where to die. your children already have a "mother" around to help. Your good at dinner.. shes good at breakfast. You trade off! These ladies are friends ... They just happen to Openly share the same penis.. lol..

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 9:54 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • they have it for women too, but it's not as popular i guess. personally i don't care what other people do with their lives, especially their love lives.

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 8:21 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • I agree with you it does seem to be pretty darn one sided...I knew a woman who's husband was 'called' by her church to take on a second wife after they had been married for two years and my heart hurt for her...I find the whole thing sad and cruel especially for a woman like her who didn't know that was what she was getting into until after she had already started her family with a husband she thought was going to be 'her's' ...makes me a bit sick to tell you the truth

    Answer by pregoagain2010 at 8:25 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Who said it wasn't? Some people like the idea. She/They get taken care of and he has to take on the responsibility of them all. It sounds balanced to me

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:31 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • shouldn't this be in the religous section so they could answer what the rule is. i wonder if the women can or can't take on extra men. if your talking about sister wives show which i started watching his first wife is not very happy and get jealous of the new marriage and the other wives. i don't think this is fair or represents what love between a woman and man should be like. he is being selfish. what i tell my husband is he most of not fun the one who is perfect for him cause had he found the one thats what he would have is one wife. obviously he hasn't found the right woman for him that he has to try in find it in the other women. i also think he is doing a disservice to his children cause he is out dating while he should be home with his kids. although those women have the right to divorce but they chose this life. so be it.

    Answer by melody77 at 9:01 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • MommaTasha, I totally get that. I really do think that polygamy can be a great lifestyle for all involved, and from a procreational standpoint it makes the most sense. I often think about how awesome it would be if I had another couple women around the house lol.

    My problem with the Fundamentalist Mormon standpoint on it is that it is limiting to the women. These women have 1/4 of a husband (the women on Sister Wives). Which would be fine if they lived less separated lives and were able to meet each other's emotional and sexual needs. It's hard on everyone in a situation like this family has... it's hard on all the wives, and it's gotta be hard on the husband.

    I think there is no right way to make a family, and this is just as valid as any other... I just think it's unfair.

    Comment by Ati_13 (original poster) at 11:38 PM on Oct. 4, 2010