Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

13 Bumps


why is it that when a women gets rape everyone is willing to be a big support and she has many support system and help...and i think thats great everyone NEEDS to be helped and put the perpetrator behind bars cuz it is a horrible most outrages thing anyone can ever go me i know...BUT when a men says he is rape it is over looked and not even the system wants to help....???

Answer Question

Asked by iNk-FrEaK at 9:59 PM on Oct. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Level 23 (15,946 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • My thoughts...........................

    Many are under the impression or believe/feel that a man can not be raped.

    There was actually a thread about this in one of the main groups not to long ago. The majority of women stated that they did not believe that a man could be raped. I was quite surprised by that. I would think if anyone would be understanding of rape and how it can happen, it would be women. But I was mistaken. And most, never even t hought of or acknowledged the reality of anal rape. The focus was on "well a man has to get hard.. so no you can't rape the willing" type thinking and attitude.

    It's much like the issue of abuse. Many do not believe/feel that a man can be the abuse victim in a relationship. When, men get abused quite often in relationships.

    A man can be just as much a victim of these things as a woman can be..

    Answer by pixie_trix at 10:14 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • I feel it's similar to theway these teacher keep molesting these young boys and they recieve a slap on the wrist while their male counter parts are rightfully put away for molesting girls. These boys are just as much a victim as the girls, but because of the double standard they are seen almost as willing participants, Lord help the person who would ever touch one of my boys!

    And as for rape, yes aman can be raped. Just becuse his body responds does not make it any less of a crime. It would be like saying that if a woman happened to orgasm during as attack that she hadn't been raped and yes this has happened. Sometimes the body just responds to the stimulus regardless of the situation.

    Answer by dmbutler at 11:21 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • How could anyone not know that a man could be raped? Are they that stupid and unaware and lacking in basic knowledge of anatomy?? It is just as bad for a man to be raped. ANY rapists should be locked up forever and castrated.

    Answer by gertie41 at 12:04 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Many women hide the fact that they were raped... many more men do.
    Unfortunately since the crime does not have a voice... it loses power.

    Answer by Niki_sd at 1:21 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • It's society, really. Just the way things go. I remember an episode of L&O: SVU had an episode like this (the "perp" later returned as a different character, playing their ADA, Casey). Some feel that because a female can't "invade" (terrible wording, but you know what I mean) a male the way a male can "invade" a female. Men raped by other men (not already in prison) don't want to report it because they don't want to seen as gay.

    It's a terrible double standard and I hate that it's there.

    Answer by _Tam_ at 10:37 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Some believe that men cant get raped. They say since got a hard one that he was aroused and wanted it. Hell in some rape case the women get aroused. Just because they get aroused doesn't mean they wanted it.
    Men can get raped and it's a bunch of BS when it's over looked. Plus most men won't come forward anyways when they get raped because of how they will be treated because society has made a man being rape a joke when in fact it isn't.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 12:29 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Can't men get an involuntary hard-on? If so, that doesn't necessarily mean he was willing!

    Answer by tinamatt at 2:05 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Women when raped statistically are shunned, often treated badly when making the police report, people often accuse the woman of "you had it coming because you were drunk, they way you dressed, etc...." In fact, many rapes go unreported by women because they internalize these feelings of shame. I'm a counselor and I deal with women like this every day. It is a stereotype to say ANY gender, male or female, has a great support system once they're raped.

    Answer by SDMama77 at 2:16 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I think it is because that some people assume that men cant get raped because they are stronger then females.

    Answer by LiLJeni at 6:02 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • OK, there are two ways men can be raped... it doesnt just have to mean by using his Penis. I know people feel is not rape if had an erection, but unfornately it can and does happen. They can also be rapped by another man... Either way, They should be prosecued. I think we just dont hear about men being rapped as much as women. Its hard for a woman to come forward. I think its even HARDER for a man to. In our society men are to me TOUGH!

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 8:00 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.