Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Has anyone stayed in a relationship just for the kids?Pls only answer if you have.

If so how did you get through it? I had an aunt& uncle who did, it was crazy, i would spend the night w/my cousins& i would see how they were the ones who cooked for their dad&did his laundry.She was always yelling at him & he would tell her how one day he was going to leave.She would tell him that she couldnt wait for that day to come.They had 5 kids together, when the youngest turned 18, he left, My aunt was so shocked, idk why.I have been wanting to leave my so, i dnt feel like if i love him anymore, its the things that he hasnt done for us that make me have hate towards him, we have his kids from his previous marriage, i also dnt wan to leave because of them, their mother has no rights whatsoever , ifeel he will put all the stress he has put on me on them, thats how irresponsible he is.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:34 PM on Oct. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I am in my current relationship b/c of the kids. My husband and I have 3. We've been together for 9 yrs and I'm miserable. I want a divorce, but I know what it will do to the kids, especially the oldest and I can't bring myself to go through with it. We have split up and gotten back together a few times. Although I know that staying with him only for the kids is the wrong thing to do, I just can't seem to push myself to put them through the strain of a divorce. I know that in the long run they would be better off b/c they see the arguments and they know I'm not happy, therefore I cannot be the mother that I want to be and that they need. My youngest is only 10 mos, so I have a long ways to go till they are all 18. I don't see myself lasting that long without having some kind of breakdown.
    mijos_mom

    Answer by mijos_mom at 10:43 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • If it were not for the kids then we would not be together..but we make it work, there is no yelling, no mean things said to one another. We just get along as if we were good friends but I do know it is the kid we have together that ties us together and without him we would be nothing
    togo90210

    Answer by togo90210 at 10:48 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • The thing about my so & i is that we try not to argue in front of the kids anymore, whenever i get upset i just leave & take the kids w/me, its more of a screw you kinda thing, we are moving into a bigger house& i was thinking about telling him that i want to stay in the master bedroom w/my boys n him keep his, but idk if that is a good idea, his chile will be 18 in 3 yrs , i was thinking maybe i can leave after she turns 18, i just feel bad for her because i know if i leave now she wont have a mother figure in her life, no child deserves that.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:51 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • yes, and it will slowly rot your emotions to the core. it will be painful and your heart will break but you have to leave, it is they only way you ca be the person you are meant to be for your child. dont wait till your baby gets too old. let them grow up seeing a happy mommy. it will take every bit of strength to leave.
    king0913

    Answer by king0913 at 11:55 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • i did and it was the worst mistake the longer you stay the harder it is at the end cuz no matter what that relationship will never blossom...it's a dead relationship and it only makes it worst for the children...
    iNk-FrEaK

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 12:38 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • yes , I stayed for my children who are now grown. I regret staying. I truly think it did more harm then good. I was afraid of not having my husband around, raising 3 children alone , and having my kids upset over Daddy being gone....when in fact Daddy was never really there to begin with...he was to busy with friends...work..etc......Why I never saw the truth I will never know.

    tracylyn245

    Answer by tracylyn245 at 12:45 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • i did for 8 years of the 10 i was married to my ex it was awful b/c the kids knew what was going on but i tried to be strong for them and then i thought about how unhappy i was and i couldn't do it anymore so i filed for divorce. now we are good friends and my kids have a great relationship with their father
    Inheritingkids

    Answer by Inheritingkids at 12:23 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.