• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Did I make the right decition? Conversation Via Text between my ex and I about our 3 year old...

Today I recieved a text from my ex asking if he could have our daughter tomorrow since he got a Saturday off of work. I told him I didnt know what to think about it. He has not seen her, called or even sent a text to see how she is doing in 6 weeks. The last time I heard from him was 3 weeks ago today saying he could not have her that weekend and that Child Support Enforcement took $150 dollars out of his check and now he cannot afford his bills. Did not ask about her. The last time I saw him I told him he needed to either be more consistant in her life, or get out completely.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:46 PM on Oct. 24, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I'd believe her. Why would she lie about that stuff?? If it were me and he was in and out of my child's life like that, I'd tell him if you want to see your child, you can come over to my house and visit with her while I'm there. If you continue to do this and prove that you are going to be a stable part of her life, then we will talk about her going to your house alone. That's my only deal. Period.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 5:25 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • I told him he could call anytime and if our daughter was not around I would have her call him back later. He does not have a car so I told him if he made the effort to be involved I would help out with transportation. I brought all of these things up to him today and he said he must have forgot that he could do that. So the final decition was that after I pick her up from school today I would have her call him and she could decide if she wanted to see him or not. He agreed. I dont want to make her go. She hates it over there and doesnt even call him dad. And says he doesnt like her and yells at her when she is there. I dont know wheather or not to believe it but I can feel and see her pain when she says these things.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:47 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • I think you made the right choice, cause if you force her she isn't going to be willing at anything and she will just have this hate attaude. but it sounds like she really doesn't even care at this age but later on she might care a little more just keeping giving her choices on what she picks and support her witch later in life that will also help when she grows up
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:07 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • If she says she doesn't want to go maybe you could go with her for a few hours. That way she still gets to see him.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 5:11 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • i think you made the right choice, i also think that he should come spend time with her like take her to lunch and things like that to prove that he cares. before he should even deserve to have her over night. you cant pick and choose when you want to be a parent you eiter are or you arent. hope things get easier
    christinaMJ

    Answer by christinaMJ at 5:14 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • JMO, but if he's not a good influence on your child, I wouldn't let him have her except for what the divorce orders allow ONLY. That's the way I've been doing it with my ex.
    rhope4

    Answer by rhope4 at 5:22 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • Ok. I'm all for having the father be a part of the child's life, but this guy is ridiculous. Court orders REGULAR VISITATION, not WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE VISITATION. Either this guy is going to be a father in every sense of the word, or he needs to butt out completely. Children needs consistency, stability and predictability in their lives, not someone who wants to be a daddy when it's convenient for him. Tell him to grow the Hell up and make the decision if he wants to be that little girls' daddy or not.
    SkyeGirl

    Answer by SkyeGirl at 5:31 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • If she says she doesn't want to go maybe you could go with her for a few hours. That way she still gets to see him.

    Excellent suggestion!
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 5:37 PM on Oct. 24, 2008