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Im torn, what would you do?

I have been in a very stable relationship for the last three years after being in an abusive marriage. My fiance is also the father to my 21 month old son. My problem is we have been fighting alot lately and its gets bad, never violent though. I love him with my whole heart but Im starting to feel that he has fallen out of love with me and is only staying with due to our son. Well the thing is there are a few of my guy friends that I am so close to that I have told about the problems that are ready to take care of my son and myself. And there is one guy that would do anything from me the thing is he is married with a baby but no longer feels he loves her and wants to try things out with me. He wants to take care of me and my son and try for our own family but I love my fiance. Im so torn. I trully feel I love them both, what would you ladies do?


Asked by Nicolle_09 at 10:35 PM on Oct. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (84 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • It sounds to me that you may have already made up your mind to leave. If you are not happy a one sided relationship isn't going to work. The only thing is I feel that you may have feelings for the other guy from your statements. Ask yourself this Dear, what is so different about this guy from yours? Do you think he is talking to his wife about what he is talking to you about? Or is he doing the same thing to her that your man is doing to you? And if so that looks to me like if you two get together then who's to say "your friend" won't repeat the pattern? If in fact you feel it is time to move on then at least take some time to find yourself and not jump directly into a security blanket. The one thing you have to do is be real with yourself.

    Answer by Cheveyo1 at 12:36 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I think you are being selfish. The grass may look greener but you will regret it. You don't know what you have till it's gone. and if this married man would cheat 4 u, when wouldn't he cheat on you?

    Answer by KaraMia15 at 10:41 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • i would never break up a marriage.

    Answer by gabby06 at 10:37 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • I would say that if you really want your relationship to work, you need to communicate with YOUR man, not these other guys. If you can stop talking to the guys and legitimately work on your relationship and it doesn't work out, then pursue someone else.

    You cannot honestly work on any relationship if there are others with biased opinions trying to give you advise. They cannot fix your relationship, only you and your fiance can.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:49 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • He doesnt want to cheat and neither do I we both arent happy and dont feel we are where we belong. we wouldnt get together in any form till after we were both legally single.

    Comment by Nicolle_09 (original poster) at 10:43 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • Hang in there! Every relationship has its ups and downs.

    Answer by chrstn_rm at 10:44 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • I think you need to sit down and have a one on one with your fiancee!! A SERIOUS talk needs to happen soon. I am not going to bash you but this is a serious situation that needs to be dealt with. Do everything (couples therapy, etc...) you can for the relationship and if it's meant to be, it will be. But if it isn't, part ways for the sake of you child. He doesn't need to grow up seeing unhappy parents and think that is how a relationship should be.

    Good luck hun and hopefully you will find what you are looking for!

    ~Alyssa M.
    Helping Moms Work From Home Since 1999!

    Answer by alyssamal at 10:47 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • I do try to communicate with him after our son goes to sleep but he would rather sit infront of the PS3 and tune me out then work on it, the only reason I talk to these guys, they are my fiances friends as well, is cause I have known them for a long time. I have known the married guy since we both were in high school he lived behind me. We have tried everything including counceling and it just seemed to make things worst for us.

    Comment by Nicolle_09 (original poster) at 10:52 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • I would try marriage counseling but I could never leave with myself knowing that I helped break a marriage. I would avoid the other guy until he figures things out in his relationship and you need to figure things out in yours. You cant just assume your SO doesnt love you anymore. You need to communicate. Welcome t relationships. Everyone fights and sometimes it will get heated no relationship is perfect.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 10:56 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • There are so many things wrong here. 1. never break up a family, thats bad karma on you. 2. Relationships have down sides, not all happy, if you can get thru the downward slope and end up on top then your relationship is stronger, if you automatically start looking elsewhere, for whoever will take care of you, then obviously you either don't know how to be committed to one person, your insecure, not truly in love or just looking for the next fool to take care of you.

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 10:58 PM on Oct. 4, 2010