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5 Bumps

Would this upset you?

My sister in law is convinced that my family hates her. Well specifically me and my mom. When infact we have always embraced her and hoped she felt more than just welcomed into the family. My brother has been with her for five years now. Her and I have tried to have a close friendship but because we are different she thinks I am only trying to be friends with her bc of my brother. Not true. She tends to drink a lot when we (my husband and I) and her and my brother hang out. She gets loud and trashes my mom. She is nasty to me and to my brother. I decided to keep my distance a bit bc I can't take that. I have left the door open to her to talk to me anytime. I haven't judged her but she thinks I won't listen to her. Ugh. Anyway after years of that and still trying with her my brother and her both begged us to move closer to them in hopes that our relationships would get better. Since we have been around they don't speak to us...

Answer Question
 
IzzeAddy

Asked by IzzeAddy at 11:52 PM on Oct. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (312 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • Invite them over, then just walk up to her and tell her that you DO like her, but only when she's sober.
    3gifts.from.god

    Answer by 3gifts.from.god at 11:56 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • >> She cried the weekend before e moved closer saying she was so happy we would be close and she couldn't wait to be a part of my daughter's life. She doesn't speak to my daughter at all. She won't come to my house. I invited her and my brother over for a home-cooked meal. My other brother was in visiting and was about to go to England for 2 years for the Marines. I wanted us all to be together before he left. She would not come over so my brother (her husband) wouldn't come over. He says he will always side with her and if she isn't happy then he can't take the tension so he stays distant. I don't get her. I asked her why she didn't come over and she said she has too many scars.That made no sense. Besides the dinner was to wish my other brother off to England and she made it all about her.
    IzzeAddy

    Comment by IzzeAddy (original poster) at 11:57 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • maybe she is doing that not cuz she thinks you don't like her but cuz she don't like you for some reason and wants to make your brother think you and your mom are the problem...don't give in and just over look her you and your mom have done your parts...;et your brother know you are there for him and that you support his decision and let her come to you....if she does not then she is the one missing out and sooner or later your brother will put her in her place (cuz that not right talking nasty about his OWN mother) or things will go there own way...best of luck mama

    iNk-FrEaK

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 11:58 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • YES- it would upset me, but people like that are obviously dealing with personal problems. i would just kill her with kindness, eventually she will come around
    king0913

    Answer by king0913 at 11:58 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • she sound insecure and if your brother takes her side like i said sooner or later he should open his eyes...wow i am sorry mama
    iNk-FrEaK

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 11:59 PM on Oct. 4, 2010

  • She came to my house when I told her that upset me and she pushed past my husband and ran into my kitchen and got in my face. She tried to fight me. I was sooo lost. My husband had to remove her from the house because I am pregnant and she tried to tackle me. We were both so shocked by her behavior. Her husband just stood there. I am so upset that he can't see how nuts this is. And I can't have a relationship with him bc of her craziness.

    IzzeAddy

    Comment by IzzeAddy (original poster) at 12:00 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Her reason for acting like a raging nut was because she can't deal with any negative emotions or comments. Anything she feels is negative sets her off. She is fragile and she says we all know that about her. Um...doesn't seem like an excuse to be that way toward others.
    It is making me nuts now.
    IzzeAddy

    Comment by IzzeAddy (original poster) at 12:05 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Maybe I'm blunt, but really, "eff" it! There is no way I would STRUGGLE to keep these people in my life and around my children, husband or dear mommy (if I had one). Look she is obviously not friend-able, so quit trying to be a friend. Your brother made a CHOICE in his life partner here. I would be polite, even sweet, but totally aloof about them coming around. And if ANYBODY verbally attacks me, well, until that is addressed and soundly apologized for they would not be invited to my house. You are letting the wolf in. How safe do you suppose your children think their home is when dangerous and destructive people are practically begged to enter your door?
    fohtrae

    Answer by fohtrae at 12:06 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • she needs help does she have kids...?
    iNk-FrEaK

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 12:34 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Hell yeah that would upset me...You have every right to be upset. You seem to be going the extra mile with her and she just seems to screw it up all the time. I think it's time you think more of yourself than of her. Talk to her and tell her your issues with her. If she does not see it your way..I personally, would say screw it, and move on.......Good Luck!
    gogogirl79

    Answer by gogogirl79 at 12:36 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

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